Everything's gonna be fine
by Heellen
Summary: The uncertain tone he used made her head turn towards him and smile sweetly. She reached out to squeeze his arm, "It will be all right, Jay, you have my back." A series of UPSTEAD MISSING MOMENTS! With the participation of all our favorite Intelligence cops!
1. Chapter 1

Hi Guys! I'm so in love with Upstead! They're so beautiful together!

I don't know whether to continue this story or do many Upstead Missing Moments! Any ideas?

Hope to have some opinion from you…

Rewiev are welcome!

See you soon, H.

* * *

10.15 P.M.

"Just let go the gun or I'll shoot her in the head!"

"I can't do this, Jimmy… You know, you're aiming a gun at my partner. Now, drop your weapon and let her go", the detective tried to convince the man who had an arm around Hailey's neck.

"Shut up! Shut up!", he shouted, wriggling behind her.

"Jay…get away, come on…", Hailey's feeble voice could not distract the cop from keeping his sights on the drug dealer.

"Now I'll tell you what will happen", he spat out pushing the barrel of the gun against the woman's head, "We will go in here and if you want to see her alive, you will make us move, yeah?"

"Jimmy, you have no chance… You have to trust me. Having a cop hostage doesn't help you! Let her go and then we can talk about it…"

The man laughed clutching Hailey against himself, "If you want to see her alive again, you will let me go from here!"

The moment of silence that followed his words gave the man the opportunity to retrace his steps by dragging Hailey behind him. A grimace of pain appeared on her face the moment she was forced to put her weight on her right leg.

"It will be all right, Jay…", a second later the detective saw the flash of her bright blue eyes disappear behind metal door.

"Damn! _50-21 George, reinforcements for kidnapped agent. Humboldt Park, corner of North Ave with Carlifornia Ave. Repeat: reinforcements for kidnapped agent!_", the detective shouted in the radio.

"Halstead! What happened?", Voight's voice pulled him out of the hazy thoughts that gripped his brain as he sat against the trunk of his car trying to protect himself from the incessant rain.

* * *

An hour before

"Today you woke up badly, I can already say it by looking you in the face", the young blonde laughed noticing a hot cup of coffee left on her desk.

"I have a bad feeling", Jay shrugged his jacket and ran a hand through his already soaked hair, "There seems to be the end of the world out there!"

"Yeah, well…if all goes well, you will spend the day writing reports!", Vanessa's voice came muffled from behind a pile of files.

A general lament accompanied his words, "Advice from a friend: never ever say that it will be a quiet day!", Adam had not yet finished speaking before Voight's deep voice made all their eyes rise at the same time.

"Atwater's car is not working, Rojas go get him. He also told me about one of his CI. He is in a situation near Humboldt Park. Halstead, Upton, go check it out. I'll send you the address on your way."

* * *

"I'm going to tell you something you will never hear again from me, but I had to confess that I would have happily stayed in the office today", Jay muttered, squinting to see beyond the incessant rain.

"Jay…", the girl chuckled, "I didn't know you were so meteoropathic."

She saw him nibble on his lower lip concentrating on the road, "I have this bad feeling… I don't know, it will be wrong….but be careful, okay?"

The uncertain tone he used made her head turn towards him and smile sweetly. She reached out to squeeze his arm, "It will be all right, Jay, you have my back."

* * *

"Halstead! What happened?", Voight's voce quickly pulled him out of his thoughts.

"When we got there, we found Tucker Bail and Jimmy Kilsen, a local drug dealer that Bail was trying to frame for us. They were arguing. Things got worse when Kilsen realized what was going on and shot Tucker. Sorry Kev…"

"And what does Upton have to do with all this?"

Jay swallowed slowly, running a hand through his wet hair and looking away from his boss. He knew it was going to be a bad day, he felt that in his stomach. He bit his lower lip to anchor himself to reality.

"After shooting, Kilsen started to run away and we chased him. I don't know how it happened but he hit Hailey with a metal bar and then he used her as his shield… I could not do anything…", the detective couldn't stop himself from hitting the wall next to him, "I heard other voices. Think there are at least three in addition to Hailey".

His outburst of anger raised some eyebrows, the close bond between the two partners was now know to all. To all but the two of them, probably.

"Any other exits?", Kim looked around tying her already wet hair in a ponytail.

"Already checked it and this is the only possible exit."

"We just have to go and get her back", Voight hugged his rifle preparing to enter, "Adam with me. Jay and Kim, Kev and Rojas. Let's go!"

* * *

He and Kim were on the upper floor of the shed when a series of gunshots away from them made him stop on his footsteps. He couldn't stop his mind to consider the worst situation with his bleeding partner on the floor with a bullet hole in her head.

"_All free. We have Hailey, going out_", Kevin's words quickly pulled him out of the haze oh his mind. He exchanged a quick glance with Kim and they went out in the storm that not seem to intend to calm down.

He heard her voice even before he could see her, "Jay!", then noticed her staggering towards him away from Kevin who was holding her by her arm.

He hurried to join her and the he realized that she had immediately leaned against one of his arms with all her weight.

"My knee is damned bad. Don't ever talk to me about bad feeling!", she said making everyone else laugh except him. Guilt wrinkles already carved on his face. Hailey sighed internally knowing perfectly what was going on in her partner's mind.

The two detectives lagged behind the rest of the group, a worried look that crossed the man's face at the sight of the blood dripping from her cheekbone.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not going to the hospital!"

"You're definitely going to the hospital, Hailey!", Voight surprised them from behind and quickly got over them. He would never accept a negative answer.

Jay saw her consider the situation staring at his parked car about twenty meters away, then she shrugged the shoulder admitting defeat, "I'm not sure I can get there…", nodding her leg. Then she turned to him a and moment later she had already tied her arms around his neck resting all her weight against him, but he remained motionless shocked by her behavior.

"Please, Halstead. I'll buy you a beer!", she said urging him to move.

The hoarse laughter that she finally managed to tear him, shocked her so deeply that her heart beat a little faster.

"Come on partner, I'll give you a lift", he sighed, dipping his face into her neck and tying his arms around her waist. The second later, she found herself lifted off the ground with her feet dangling and he slowly carried her towards the car.

"I hate all this rain…", she still heard him complain and she couldn't help shaking her head in amusement.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm so excited! My first girls' night!", Vanessa sank into the sofa cushion, "What plans did Halstead have for tonight?"

The girl's amused tone didn't go unnoticed and while Kim chuckled, Hailey rolled her eyes, "Why, do you miss him?"

She snorted looking sideways at her friend, "It's more like you miss him!"

"Vanessa, I don't know how to tell you"; Hailey laughed running a hand through her hair, "There's nothing between me and Jay!"

The younger woman took a sip of beer shaking her head. An amused expression that danced on her face.

The atmosphere was finally relaxed. After a week of hell, finding yourself spending a quiet evening on the sofa seemed like a dream for the three women. Hailey stretched her legs on the table in front of her, looking at her friends now at ease in her living room. For a brief moment she wondered how Jay's night was going with Will: she could almost imagine them, sitting in a pub discussing amused as usual. She shook herself out of her thoughts when she noticed Vanessa's look of awareness. She smiled cheerfully at her, hiding her red cheeks behind the beer.

With her usual bubbly character, Vanessa was the first to break the silence, "How long have you stopped being afraid of Voight?"

The two girls burst out laughing with a shake of their heads.

"I admit that sometimes he still scares me!", Kim said feigning a shiver.

"Oh, I don't know, you know? The first day I saw him, I kicked him out of my crime scene and after a few hours I yelled at him that he was a jerk… So I don't know, if he didn't kill me that day…".

Vanessa's eyes widened, a shadow of disbelief on her lips.

"Oh yeah! Atwater told me about that!", Kim jumped up and slammed her hands on the table, "I would have liked to see you!"

Hailey found herself shaking her head uncomfortably remembering that first day, "I would rather forget it… It wasn't my best day…", a shiver ran through her, reliving those first and only cases with Erin. The way she was able to get under her skin still left her stunned. Trying to turn her head away from Erin, she went into the kitchen to get a still closed bottle of beer for Vanessa.

"I'm pregnant!"

Kim's words were followed by a long moment of silence, the two women turned simultaneously in her direction, their mouths open.

"Sorry, wait…what did I miss?", Vanessa mumbled unconvinced.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too… And here I am, pregnant cop!"

"Pregnant? Ok, well, well… Are we happy about it?", Hailey's question made Kim's hand move on her still flat stomach.

"Anxiety, confusion and disturbance are the adjectives that now describe me better… But talking about it with you…I think can help me", she smiled shyly continuing to fix her hands.

Hailey smiled staring at her colleague, "Woah, a baby… I wasn't expecting that!"

"Yes, don't you say it with me!"

The tension now gone leaves a strange fog of uncertainty and wonder in the air.

"But the father?", Hailey immediately saw Kim's cheeks turning red and she understood that it could only be one man, "It's Adam, isn't it?"

"Ruzek? Ok, I didn't see this coming either!", Vanessa raised her hands in the air with a defeated look.

"We have been dating for a while, but this was definitely not in the plans!", Kim released a long breath, leaning her back on the sofa.

* * *

"So, let me know", Vanessa opened her mouth after changing another episode on Netflix, "Kim is pregnant and you swear to me that you never slept with Halstead?"

"Jeez! You never give up, do you?"

"Here we go! At least you, Kim! You have to see what I see!"

"Basic rule for working with this team: never ask Hailey and Jay what's going on between Hailey and Jay", Kim shrugged her shoulders and feigned indifference.

"Let's talk about something interesting: a boy or a girl, what would you like?", Hailey crashed against the sofa, turning her attention to Kim.

"A girl, absolutely a girl!", the woman laughed, "Do you want children?"

"Not now, I'm all focused on work!"

"And you're also the youngest, almost a girl", Kim mocked Vanessa reaching out to mess her hair, "And you?"

"I don't know… I never really though about it", the blonde reasoned, "I should also find the right person, I suppose."

In a flash, she saw her future in two green eyes on a face sprinkled with freckles tan called her mom splashing from one side the sofa to the other. She could hear crystalline laughter ringing against the walls of her living room. Almost believed she could wish something like that for her future. She saw herself reaching out and touching that chid, hold him close to her, breathing his smell of chamomile shampoo. She could see him hopping around her legs, "_Daddy gave me a present! Look mommy!_", and show her a small colorful stuffed squirrel.

"Hailey?", she was unexpectedly torn from her imagination by a hand waving in front of her face, "Would you like a boy or a girl?"

She involuntarily smiled at the memory of the mischievous expression on the little face in her fantasy, "A boy… God, I didn't think I wanted him!", she burst into a nervous laugh, smoothing her hair in her shoulder. The realization struck her so suddenly that it left her breathless.

"I already understand, I'll be the best babysitter in the world!", Vanessa sighed ridiculously walking away in the kitchen.

The young blond turned to her colleague still on the sofa looking at her silently, "Does Adam already know?"

She saw her deny with a nod, "I wanted to be there tonight, but…I just thought I would need to confess to someone who could understand me first…", the fear in her voice said much more than her own words.

"You know he'll be happy about it, right?", Hailey leaned over and gently squeezed one hand in hers, "And if he's not happy, I can always kill him and nobody will ever find his body!"

Kim smiled at her friend's firm expression and she felt part of the concern slipping away from her shoulders.

* * *

The breath of the three women were getting more regular while their attention was concentrated on the TV, when the ringing of Hailey's cell phone made her jump.

"Please, let's hope it's not Voight…", Vanessa muttered pressing a pillow over her face.

"Upton", Hailey mumbled sleepily.

"_If this isn't my favorite detective!_", the confused voice on the other line made her sit down immediately.

"Will?", her alarmed expression drew the attention of the two friends, "You alright? Something happen?"

"_Hailey!_", her name pronounced so drawn out made her smile.

"Will, how drunk are you?", she chuckled as she approach the window.

"_A bit! Not much though! But Jay drive tonight! Hey Jay, I'm talking to Hailey!_"

The woman found herself rolling her eyes hearing her partner's voice in the backgroung, "_I know it, you stole my phone! Come on, leave her alone!_"

"_Hailey! Detective Upton! You had to come tonight too, my brother is insufferable!_", the man shouted her name in an exalted voice.

"Yeah Will, next time I'll come", she could not stop herself from continuing to laugh, "But now I'm a little busy, so..."

"_I'm disturbing you! Sorry Hailey!_", he always ended up dragging her name in such a bizarre way, "_Oh…are you on a date?_"

Hailey was silent for a second, "It's not really a date… But still, good evening, Will."

When she turned to go back to the sofa, she could not help raising her eyebrows at the amused glances she receives from her friends, "What?"

"Jay's brother had called you… What do you want me to add?", Vanessa sighed dramatically picking up a handful of popcorn.

"It's only Will, don't see things that don't exist!"

Kim shook her head staring at the table, "This is not the point. You made him believe you were with a man! He will definitely tell Jay! You wanted to make him jealous!"

The victorious look Kim gave her, made her step back on the sofa.

"I didn't make him believe anything!", she tried to defend herself weakly, "but even if it were, Jay is above these things, he does not get jealous."

"You really wanted to make him jealous!", Vanessa jumped on her place on the sofa, shaking her arm in the air, "I knew it! I was right!", she began a strange ballet around the table shaking her hips and humming to herself.

"How stupid you are!", Hailey looked at her mocking her nonsense.

"Hailey, I can assure you that last year he was totally jealous about your relationship with Adam!"

Vanessa froze on the other woman's words, "Have you been with Adam? How many things have I missed?"

"It was nothing important for either of us".

"Yes, but trust me. I've known him since Erin's time", a sort of shiver ran through Hailey at her name, she never managed to fully accept the other woman, "He always kept everyone at arm's length, including her. Then you came and started kicking his ass and now he's almost human!"

"Ok, yeah, that's enough, I fell like I'm at school!", Hailey raised her hands giving up, then she reached for the empty bottles, "Kim, it's really late, you should stay here tonight! You can sleep with me if you want!", she shouted from behind walking towards the kitchen.

"Have you heard that? It seems I'll be her hot date tonight then!", the blonde heard her say to Vanessa and could't help laughing at their nonsense.

* * *

**I'm sorry but I've always imagined seeing these three women in a bonding time. **

**I hope I didn't get out of their characters but I really enjoyed writing about them.**

**As always: reviews and ideas are always welcome.**

**See you soon, H.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Atwater! I found out what I can give you for your birthday", Platt interrupted their chatter raising a glass of wine in the direction of the cop on the other side of the table and capturing their attention, "A nice patrol shift, like the old days!"

The outburst of laughter turned a few tables next to them.

"No Sarge, not a chance!", Kevin shook his head raising his glass in the woman's direction, "But I appreciate the thought!"

"Hei man, you alright?", Adam watched Jay scratching his neck. The fair skin already showed signs of redness.

"Yes, I'll be right back", Jay's voice reached her from afar before she noticed him get up and walk away towards the door. She exchanged a curious glance with Adam who shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. As if it were her nature, she continued to keep an eye on him until she noticed him staggering and placing a hand against the wall. The exit of the restaurant still very close to him.

"Jay?", she slowly stood up, "Are you okay?", she had just placed her hand on his arm when he simply collapsed at her feet. She sensed the whole movement in slow motion, recorded how the people of the other tables turned towards them and how their friends approached worried to her, but her attention was always focused on the man slumped in front of her.

"Jay! Jay!"

She knelt beside him helping him to lean his back against the wall. She only realized marginally having Kevin behind her, "Jay! Can you hear me?"

His eyes locked in hers, a panicked look imprinted on his face, "I can't…I can't breathe… Hailey…"

"Hailey, look at his neck…", Kevin moved slightly the collar of his shirt revealing the red-stained skin.

"Jay, what did you eat? Kim! Look in his salad!", she frantically shouted to her colleague nearby, her attention turned to the panting of her partner, "Watch out for nuts!"

"Hailey…I don't…breathe…", his words were accompanied by a light squeeze on the woman's arm.

"I need you to calm down, Jay. Just listen to my voice, okay?", she gently placed a hand against his cheek looking into his eyes.

"I just…can't…breathe…Hails…", she bit her cheek trying to control the panic that was taking over her and fixed his green eyes.

"It will be all right, Jay. Just try to breath slowly…", his head resting on her hand and he closed his eyes.

"No no no, look at me! Jay!", the anguish in her voice made him reopen his eyes slowly.

"Good boy, stay with me, okay?"

She saw him clasp his hands against his shirt at the chest, his breathing had become increasingly irregular. Her thumb gently caressed the freckles on his skin while still maintaining the grip on his cheek.

"Hailey, I found pieces of nuts…"

"Damn! He's allergic to nuts! Call an ambulance! Jay, do you have an epi? Jay, look at me, come on!"

He slowly nodded at her, his eyes half closed, "Car…take…the keys", his hand moved towards the pocket of his jeans.

"Okay, well", she fumbled briefly in his pocket pulling out the keys, "Kev, he must stay awake, okay?"

"But…"

"Just don't make him fall asleep!", she yelled, then turning to the gasping man, "I'll be right back, okay? Stay calm Jay, just a minute".

Her hand caressed his cheek briefly and then she disappeared from the pub.

* * *

Her run back to the restaurant seemed to last hours, she knew it took just a few minutes, but her heart continued running at a frightened speed and her mind traveled miles per hours trying not to think about the consequences of her delay.

She made quickly her way to the group piled against the wall and threw herself on her knees towards her partner. The first thing she noticed were the red spots appeared on the man's cheeks. _Damn it_.

"Hailey…", his body shaken by cough.

"I'm here. First round!", she quickly pushed the first injection into his thigh through the denim, "Now it will be better, you know?"

"Hailey, I'll be fine… Don't worry…", his words slid out his mouth with difficulty.

She raised her eyebrows with an ironic smile in his direction. Her hand still found place on his cheek, gently cradling his red face. She could feel Jay's gaze always on her, not losing any move.

"The ambulance is coming in a few minutes", Kim touched her arm to attract her attention.

Kevin knelt in front of her, holding a hand on Jay's shoulder to calm the coughing spasms, "Hailey, it doesn't seem he's getting better…".

"Okay Jay, I'm sorry, round two", a few seconds and the second ration of epinephrine was pushed against his leg, "Can you tell me if you feel better?"

Hailey felt Jay's hand slip into hers and, with a simplicity that belonged only to the two of them, she squeezed their fingers, "I'm a little better, I think…"

* * *

Her eyes widened finding a hand beneath her nose holding out a cup of coffee. She looked around noticing her entire team entering the emergency room.

"I was undecided between coffee or beer, but coffee is more comfortable to carry", Vanessa's genuine smile made her straighten up on the chair.

"You shouldn't have come!"

"There is no way to drive us out, happy birthday to me!", Kevin raised his coffee in the air toasting with Adam, he standing with a tray of donuts in his hand.

"Well, this is definitely an alternative way to celebrate…", Kim snickered sitting next to her, "Do you know how Jay is doing?"

"I'm waiting for him finishing the IV then I'll bring him home, you don't need to be here! Go out and celebrate!"

"Hei kid, don't say that!", Kevin quickly hugged her leaving a kiss in her hair. A sense of warmth blossomed in her stomach and for the first time in about an hour she let herself relax.

She watched them happily in the completely empty room and smiled at the familiar feeling.

"None of us knew about his allergy, you know? It was fortunate to have you there…", Kim put an arm on her shoulders surprising her.

In the half hour she spent alone in the emergency room, she had imagined how the evening could have gone if Jay never told her about his allergy. That evening, a year before, in front of a beer on her sofa, she had laughed at him for being so dramatic, but tonight, after seeing the terror invading his eyes, she found herself thanking him for telling about it.

They were risking their lives every day with their work and instead tonight, because of a damn nut, she had come so close to losing him seriously. _Damn it, Jay_.

The panic she had managed to control in the restaurant began violently hit her, reaching her in wild and overwhelming waves. She felt herself being dragged deeply and drowned. _Damn it, Jay_. She wasn't sure she could say anything without starting to cry, so she just nodded trying to make a smile, she was sure, came out more like a grimace.

* * *

"Hey guys", Will greeted them dragging a rather sore Jay Halstead, "He's okay, I'll finish the shift in two hours, Jay can wait and I'll take him home!"

Hailey hurried over to them, "No problem, I'll take care of him."

"Anyway, Jay is here and he can talk for himself!", the young detective grumbled grimly staring at them. But when he noticed how his brother and his partner continued to talk as if he hadn't even been there, he slowly dragged himself towards the rest of the team and slumped into a chair.

"Hei kiddo, how's it going?", Voight patted him lightly on the shoulder before staring at him carefully.

"Like I've been hit by a bus, but I'll be fine."

"You got us scared, Jay", he felt Kim's arms wrap around his neck and several pats on his back by the rest of his friends. He managed to return the hug and smile before Hailey appeared in his vision.

"Are you ready? I'll take you home and your brother will join you at the end of the shift"

"Hailey, I can sleep one night alone!", he complained, getting up slowly.

"I know."

"So, there's no need for Will"

"That's not something that concerns me. Here we go."

He knew that tone, he knew it well. It was the tone she used when she was pissed at him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he followed Hailey into the parking lot, their steps accompanied by the rest of the group. He watched her long blonde hair flutter in the wind and for a second it occurred to him to take her hand, because now, unlike an hour earlier, he had to console her reminding her that he was still alive.

"Halstead, I don't want to be in your shoes tonight…", Adam gave him a sympathetic smile before reaching his car.

"Yeah", he moaned, "I wouldn't want too either…"

* * *

The silence in the car was full of tensione and fatigue.

The relief she felt seeing him come out the emergency room on his own legs almost canceled her. She could see clearly the signs of fatigue on his body: the already normally pale skin had an even whiter complexion on which the hundreds of freckles stood out clearly, the hair usually tidy was tangled and his gait was slow.

The confort was soon crushed by the mix of emotions she had tried to control all evening and Hailey had no intention collapsing in front of everyone, so she simply reacted as best she could: pissing off with him.

She sighed internally at the memory of the expression on his face when he realized how pissed she was. A bit of remorse that stung her heart.

"Hailey…", the man tempted in a calm voice as soon as she parked in front of his palace, "Thanks for tonight…"

"You're welcome, that's what partners do."

She clearly saw the hurt expression oh his face after her words, but she forced herself holding the steering wheel in her hands and staring resolutely at the road.

"Hails… You know you can talk to me, right?", she nodded silently, then he continued, "do you want to come in?"

When he saw her deny, he reached for her hand, "Please, Hailey…"

"I'll remain a little."

"As long as you want. Now let's go."

* * *

She was waiting for him leaning against the windowsill in the living room while he was changing into more comfortable clothes. She was always been amazed at how bright Chicago shone during the night. She was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't notice his presence until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Could feel the depth of his gaze pierce her neck but she forced herself not looking at him, or she knew she would collapse. And she didn't want to collapse, couldn't afford it. But, as always, he had other plans.

"Hailey, do you want to talk to me?"

She shook her head with her gaze still fixed on Chicago, her hands still resting on the windowsill.

"Hailey…", his warm breath came like a caress through her hair causing a shiver down her spine. Before she even felt his chest leaning against her back and saw his hands resting next to hers, she was overwhelmed by his smell. She would have recognized him among a thousand others, she was now so accustomed and addicted to it. That didn't stop her from recognizing that a part of the terror that still gripped her bowels slipped away. As always, Jay had this incredible effect on her: anchoring her to reality and calming her down so she could take the weight of the world.

She allowed herself to close her eyes and, for a few minutes, she floated in a dark world made only of Jay's smell, then, in a hoarse voice, she tried not to cancel herself in a thousand pieces.

"What if I didn't know about your allergy…?"

"But did you know it", his low voice still a warm breath on her skin.

"But if I hadn't known about the injections, then…"

"You knew that too, Hailey. You didn't do anything wrong… you were very good."

A sob escaped her lips before she could restrain herself.

"It's all right, Hails. I'm fine. Let it go…"

She took a deep breath before giving voice to her greatest fear.

"I can't lose you, Jay…", she closed her eyes trying not to melt in a sea of tears.

"I'm fine, Hails…", she heard him go around and immediately his arms were around her, a silver shield against her own destruction. She clung to his back dropping her face into his chest and then let herself sob as she didn't really think she could.

Will found them two hours later, tangled on the sofa with his voice that gently holding on her in the calm. His arms still around her were the only thing that protected her from being destroyed in a thousand pieces.

Jay was the only thing that always protected her from herself.

* * *

**Hi guys! Here I am with you again!**

**I love writing about these guys so much!**

**Hoping my english isn't that bad...**

**As always, opinions and ideas are welcome!**

**See you soon, H**


	4. Chapter 4

"Sarge, I don't have a shot."

"_Now you have to cut yourself. I said you're going to cut yourself!_"

"_Ok…Ok._"

"_That's right. Right, now give me back the knife._"

"Halstead just cut himself. Sarge, it's flopping and I do not have a shot."

"Hailey, I need you to get set for a hit diversion shot at the ceiling. No join. I repeat, no join. At my order."

"Copy."

"_Now, take this and you spray on the cut. Take it up! Come on! Take it up and spray on it! Do it!_"

"Hailey, go now!"

* * *

Hailey perceived his gaze on her even before she could see him. She found him leaning against his car with his arms crossed.

"Well, Detective Upton, it looks like I should add this to the list of times you saved my life", he said with a lopsided smile, the one he reserved for her only.

"It seems that this partnership needs at least one sensible partner, Detective Halstead", she muttered putting the sniper rifle into the car.

She turned to join him and ended up imitating his position against the car. Both their arms and hips touching each others.

She closed her eyes raising her face to the sun and enjoying a moment of peace and calm after a hell day. She enjoyed the warmth of Jay's body against her side and thanked heaven for the luck of having a partner like him.

After a deep final breath, she gave voice to what was boiling in her stomach, "I had to use your rifle, hope it's not a problem for you…"

He chuckled moving the air around them, "Hailey, I suggested you that. I knew you would understand. And then, if someone really has to use it, I'm happy it's you."

His eyes fixed in her blues and Hailey moved on her feet uncomfortable, the deep of his gaze always managed to make her heart flutter.

"Does that mean you're going to let me try it more often?"

"Don't even think about that!", his laugh made her feeling wightless for the first time in the whole day.

Seeing him to cut himself to get infected by that aets meat bacterium and being unable to do anything except waiting for Voight's voice almost gave her a hysterical crisis.

But then, his nod out of the window, a nod only for her, to tell her he was fine, to thanks her. She didn't know if it was possible, but her heart had managed to stop and run wildly at the same time.

"We're almost dead today", she sighed moving her hair to the other shoulder.

"You were quarantined…"

"And you're almost being infected by a crazy psychopath."

"Hailey…"

"Shut up", she muttered leaning her head against his shoulder and passing an arm behind his back.

"We do not usually embrace each other."

"Yeah, you don't like physical contact, I know. Now shut up, okay?"

She heard him chuckle again and then he moved his arm behind her shoulders dragging her towards his body. She promptly decided that his laughter was definitely her favorite noise. She closed her eyes seeing the rest of the team from afar. Hoped that Jay would not see them otherwise he would have gone away and she was not yet ready to give up his warmth. She realized that she had no desire seeing their expression, she didn't care what they would think, she just needed a few minutes of silence to remember they were both safe and sound.

* * *

"I'm going to have a drink with Will tonight. The others will also join us. You come, right?", he said when they got in the car.

She looked at him nibbling her lip, "Yeah, I don't know… I have to go to Med first…to check on Amanda…"

"If you want, you know where to find us. But you really should come, you know? We have to celebrate the end of this day."

"Wow!", she laughed staring at him with wide eyes, "The inflexible Jay Halstead who wants to celebrate! I do not recognize you anymore!"

"Shut up!", he snorted with a half smile to curl his lips.

* * *

She stared at her naked reflection in front of her bedroom mirror. Dark circles and wet hair stuck to her forehead did not give her the best appearance.

She thought about the previous two hours sitting outside Amanda's room. After being sure she was well, all the tiredness and stress of the day had reached her, but at the same time they also gave her new strength to leave the day behind her.

She reached out her hand as if she wanted to touch her face trough the reflection.

She had seen how the bacterium reduced the infected skin, had seen people's suffering and had seen them die. But she realized that in all of this, they had managed to stop the psychopath who had started the epidemic. She still stared at her reflection realizing that outside her door there was still life. A life that, after all, was worth living ad much as possible.

* * *

She entered Molly's door and took only one second before she recognizing Will's red hair. The second after, Vanessa's loud laugh gave her the confirmation she was looking for.

"Hey guys", she slid into the only free stool.

"Woah girl, tonight you want to impress! Have you always had such blue eyes?", Kevin stared at her with a beer in her direction.

"Yeah Kev, always, I'm sorry", she winked at him accepting the beer that Adam had brought her.

Everyone's attention went to a drunk Kim leaning against Stella's shoulder, "Girls, Severide over there, challenged us!", she shouted clapping her hands on the table, "By the end of the evening, each of us girls must get at least three boys numbers!"

Vanessa slammed her hand on the other woman's and the next moment all heads turned to Hailey.

"Oh, come on, Detective! Don't tell me you're backing off!", Kim mocked her with a fake muzzle.

"It's that I'm not really good in this things…"

"Bullshit! It's a challenge, Hailey, a challenge! You can't back off! In addition, he said that if we win, he pays our drinks for a week!"

She was still considering the situation when Adam tapped her on the shoulder, "She's in it! Station 51 will not make fun of our girls! Drink this, you have to relax!", he said holding her out a shot.

She swallowed it quickly hiding an amused sigh. She was getting up following her friends to other areas of the pub when she met Jay's eyes on the other side of the table. For a second, she hoped to see him serious, or annoyed, or even jealous… Instead, she noticed how he smiled at her from behind the beer, before raising an eyebrow. And that bothered her more than she thought she would have.

Would it really matter to her that her partner was jealous if she met other men? No, she definitely shouldn't have cared, yet…

* * *

She was proudly admiring her three napkins when she heard a voice behind her.

"The guy you saw before was an idiot."

"Excuse me?", she turned on the stool to face her partner leaning against the counter.

"Really an idiot. You had to notice that too!"

"Were you checking on me?"

"Yeah, maybe I had an eye on you. You know, I've always got your back, Hails", he winced at her.

"Yeah yeah, whatever… But are you trying to boycott me now? 'Cause Kim will kill me if we don't win the bet", she chuckled deciding to make fun of him.

"I'm just saying that…", he took a sip of his beer the continued, "You can aspire to something better…"

"Ah, said the expert!"

The defiant smile he gave her almost made her waver, but then she realized he was only making fun of her and decided that two of them could play the same game.

"Don't you think I could get the number of three boys?", she blinked leaning towards him.

"Not at all, I'm sure you can get them. And don't do all that eyelash thing, I don't helmet! I work every day with those blue eyes there!", he mocked her, waving a hand in front of her face.

"So what? Is that your excuse to come and talk to me? Do you want to give me your number?", she smiled ad ran her tongue over her teeth.

She saw him staring at the scene before swallowing, "You already have my number…"

"Yeah, so I don't really know how you could help me…", she said casually turning on the stool to take a sip of her drink. She had to try to control the feeling of warmth that had gone up her neck at the sight of his green eyes staring at her lips.

"I didn't think I would have said that but…", his voice, several tone lower than normal, came directly to her face, "Today was quite hot seeing you come back to me with my rifle…"

Hailey held her breath for a few seconds trying to calm down the heartbeat in her ears. She wondered how the hell they had come to this situation. At any other time, she would have thought of a joke, but the roughness of his voice made her something deep in her stomach that she could not ignore.

She took another sip of the drink trying to take time and figure out how to play his own game.

She turned again on the stool, one of her knees between his legs and her hands resting on his forearm still on the counter.

"And I thought that you men were excited seeing us dressed in your shirts and nothing else…".

When she looked at him, the expression on his eyes immediately made her realize that it was no longer a game and that there was no way to go back. Not that she wanted, however.

"Hailey…", her name whispered so hoarse hit something deep inside her that she forced her to tighten all her muscles so as not to jump, "You are playing on dangerous ground, because now you have just created an image in my mind really difficult to forget…"

His green eyes fixed into hers and, for a second, Hailey thought she could no longer breathe. The intensity of his gaze made her legs tremble and she realized that she really had to concentrate in order not to end the evening doing something they would later regret.

Against all her most reasonable thought, she looked down at his lips and, _Damn it!_, she knew it was the wrong decision. She knew it before she did it, she knew it while she was doing it and she knew it even after she did it. Because the only thing she managed to focus on was his tongue slowly sliding between his lips.

"You know, Hailey…", she saw him lower towards her, now so close they could confuse their breaths, his hand moved to caress her cheek, "I could kiss you, right here. I'd really like to kiss you now…", his gaze sliding from her eyes to her lips.

Hailey swallowed unable to look away from him. She would have lied saying she never imagined what it would be like to kiss Jay, her partner, her best friend. But now that her lips were only inches away from his, panic invaded her. Everything, everything would change. What if they regretted it and couldn't work together anymore? She loved working with him, in no way could she give up.

But then his eyes took hers and didn't let her breath. And in front of her there was only Jay, always and only Jay. And it seems so natural to just stretch and bend her face to…

"Hailey!"

Kim's voice made her jump and turn immediately towards her. Her head flashed in her direction and the next moment back to Jay, but, to her surprise, there was no trace left of him.

The idea blinked in her mind that perhaps she had imagined everything, but a napkin placed next to her drink confirmed that what had happened a few moments before was real. His phone number was written on the piece of paper with her partner's messy handwriting and at that sight, Hailey could not help but blushing and smiling slightly.

"So?", Kim questioned her, hugging her from behind.

She handed her three napkins letting the one she loved most slip into her pocket, a victorious smile along her features.

"Bow down to us, we've got it!", Vanessa slammed their nine napkins on the table were the others were drinking.

"Nine numbers! We're not kidding here!", Kevin applauded calling Kelly from another table.

The chatter around her slowly faded as she crossed Jay's eyes. He smiled at her behind his beer before gettin up to let her sit in his place and shift his attention to the conversation.

Hailey had almost managed to calm the redness she still felt on her face from the previous situation, when she suddenly noticed a hand, secretly, sliding on her shoulder and squeezing it gently.

She exchanged another glance with her partner, his crafty eyes silently challenged her.

"You know", she whispered turning to him, "I actually managed to get four numbers…"

He pretended to be confused, "Yet you only put three there."

"I think I want to keep the last one for me, after all it's not useful for betting…"

He bowed his head and a slight smile pursed his lips.

"You two! Are you with us or do you want to be alone?", Adam snorted throwing them a peanut peel.

Jay laughed as he leaned over the table with one hand on the surface, his chest close to her shoulder and the attention paid to the conversation.

"We good?", Hailey whispered, the last doubt in her mind before distracting herself with the others.

"We're always gonna be good, Hailey."

* * *

**Hi guys! Here I am, back with the fourth Upstead chapter!**

**As always, I hope you like it.**

**Any corrections or thoughts are welcome.**

**See you soon, H.**


	5. Chapter 5

"We worked for four hours and it's only nine in the morning, but after the disarmament you've just done, I have to take you out to dinner tonight!"

"You say it like it's a punishment for you…", Hailey looked at him sideways going up the stairs.

"Well, you eat a lot…"

"You dumbass!", she laughed punching him on the shoulder.

"How mean you are!", he admonished her massaging the painful point, "But, me being the best partner in the world…"

"Yeah, you dream…", she interrupted him snorting.

"I'll pretend I haven't heard you and I'll let you choose the place for tonight, you happy?", he had just finished speaking when he stopped in his footsteps, "What the hell…?"

"Erin?", Hailey came out from behind Jay's back after bumping into him.

"Hi guys…how are you?", the woman got up and approached them. Hailey saw their colleagues freeze and turn to them and she sensed Jay's change in mood from the way his shoulders stiffed.

She quickly touched his back before passing him to greet the other woman. Then she walked past her to her desk. In spite of herself, she noticed how Erin had sat down at her chair, at her own desk and she could not restrain the nervousness that slipped down her spine. She had worked for a short time with her but when she left it was nothing but a relief. And now, seeing her here, in the same office of which she has always believed to be the mistress, led her directly to exhaustion.

She tried to hold back but when she noticed Jay hugging her briefly, a shiver ran down her body and something inside her starting to bleed.

From behind her, she heard Adam's voice asking Erin what she was doing here and her answer made her sink even lower. She would have stayed a few days having to attend a conference. A few days when she would always be in the way. She sighted silently concentrating her mind on the report that should have ended by evening.

"The woman we saved, Mya, has improved… I'm going to the hospital, tell Voight."

"I'll go with you", Hailey jerked her head up at Kim's words and grabbed her coat before anyone else could even have time to object.

* * *

She has never loved Kim as much as she did at that moment, giving her the opportunity to escape from Erin's gaze.

"You know, there is no need running away from her…", Kim chuckled as she exited the parking lot.

"I don't run away from Erin!"

"Atwater told me how the month before she left was. And also, I know you are protective of Jay, but he will be fine…"

Hailey sighed realizing she would not be able to escape from that conversation.

"Jay can manage himself, I'm not his mother, you know?"

"Hailey, you know what I mean…"

"No, I don't know! He's an adult and can do whatever he wants with his life!"

"Whatever you said…", Kim resigned herself and Hailey almost breathed a sigh of relief believing that the conversation was finally over. She was already feeling a migraine principle and found herself imagining the relaxing bath she would have tonight.

"Anyway, you have to believe me if I tell you Jay left the whole story with Erin behind him long ago. I've seen it with my own eyes…"

"Kim, really, you don't have to cheer me up", she turned looking at her colleague when she noticed the car that had crossed the red light at the traffic lights and was heading towards them at full speed, "Kim!"

* * *

"Hei Halstead, do you know anything about Hailey? They've been for a while…", Vanessa's voice pulled him out of his hallucinated thoughts. He had tried to concentrate on his documents, but seeing Hailey's desk occupied by Erin had left him with a sense of nausea that he could hardly control.

Seeing Erin, with her casual smile, coming to greet him as if nothing had happened, as if three years ago she hadn't disappeared into thin air without saying a word, sent him out of his mind. He immediately sensed Hailey's nervousness and knew her so well that he recognized she had used Kim's hospital visit as an excuse to escape.

And Erin also had the courage to sit at her desk! To touch her things! Feel comfortable!

"Uh, no. I'll try to call her", he looked around noting how the two of them were left in the office, besides Erin. He reached for the cellphone from the desk when it rang. An uneasy feeling came up his spine when he saw the number flashing on the display.

"Halstead."

"_Hey Jay, it's Casey… Look, Upton and Burgess are going to Med with Brett. Had a car accident._"

"What? How bad?"

"_I don't know very well their situation, the impact was on the driver's side._"

"On my way, thanks. Vanessa, warn the other guys but keep working. I keep you update."

His next actions were in a blurry fog, he realized he got into the car and reached the Med. The route? He just couldn't remember it.

* * *

"Will! Will, what happened?", he could see his red hair behind the nurse's desk and rushed over to him.

"Hey, Burgess is in the operating room for a bad leg fracture which made the operation necessary to be able to fix it, but she'll be fine", the man paused noting the wild look on his brother's eyes, "Hailey is resting, she suffered a concussion and a dislocated shoulder. She came here quite confused and agitated and we had to give her something to relax her, sorry. The clash could have had worse consequences, Burgess was the most unlucky one, she was driving…"

"Can I see her? Please…"

"Yeah, of course. Come with me", Jay followed his brother down the corridors of the hospital with a thought that swirled in his mind. _Hailey drives whenever she can, Hailey always drives, but not today, not today…_

Before crossing the doorstep of her room, Will stopped him pulling him by his arm.

"She's awake but probably a little dazed. If she's still confused, call me, okay? Anyway, if everything goes well the next hour and she has someone who can be with her, I thought I'd release her."

He nodded absently, his feet dragging him desperately towards her bed. He needed to see her to make sure she was okay.

The image appeared to his eyes left him stunned for a moment: Hailey stretched out with her eyes closed, the left side of the face already showed the sign of the blow she had taken and her shoulder was fixed to her body with a sling. It was an image so different from the usual full of energy Hailey that exhausted him for everything.

"Hei partner…"

"Jay…", his name slipped from her lips before she even opened her eyes.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"That damned car…", she ran a hand over her eyes wearily.

"Yeah, I guess this is a way to describe the events…", he chuckled, finally relieved seeing she was fine, despite the circumstances.

"Kim? How about her?"

"They are operating on her leg fracture, but she'll be fine. How do you feel, Hails?"

She narrowed her eyes and immediately he turned off the light understanding her discomfort, "I've been better, but I'm fine."

"I'm going to call the guys, you rest a little more, okay? I'll take you home later", he gently squeezed her forearm before getting up.

He returned to her after asking about Kim and talking to Voight. He dragged himself to the cafeteria and, once beside Hailey, he silently sank into the chair sipping the bad coffee.

"Hei Halstead", Hailey moved uncomfortably in bed, a grimace pain when she tried to move her shoulder, "You're still here…"

"There is no other place in the world where I should be", he studied her face gently taking her hand between his.

"Can we go home? Please?"

Jay stared at her, her words warmed his heart. He knew she was still confused and sore, but she had told him to go home, together. And this was so much for him, so so much.

"Yeah, Will's coming soon and then we'll go home. You'll stay with me, Hailey. And I know…", he added immediately when he saw her open her mouth, "…you want to be alone, but Will lets you go only if you have someone to control you, so you'll stay with me. Don't fight me, just do it for me, okay? It was a difficult day, do it for me."

After a moment of silence, Hailey smiled gently reaching for his hand, "I would not do it differently, Halstead."

* * *

"Jay, why are we at the district?", Hailey mumbled in a sleepy voice, her head bent against the window.

"I'll take some documents to finish a report. It takes me a second, do you want to wait for me here?"

He didn't have time to finish his question that Hailey opened the door and slowly dragged herself towards the garage. She heard him snort behind her picking up the pace to reach her. She could clearly imagine him shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

She sank into the bench after turning off the locker room light to reduce her headache and because she hoped nobody would see her. She sighed feeling the need only to go home and sleep. But she knew that Erin still wandered around there and she didn't feel ready to see her at all, so she tried not to let her guard down.

She slid down on the bench and was about to fall asleep when Jay's voice pricked up her ears. She has always hated eavesdrop on other conversations, but the voice she heard after his made her jump up. A move she regretted immediately, but that didn't make her give up crawling closer the door.

"Can we just talk, Jay? Please, just a minute…"

"I don't have a minute and I don't have much to tell you, Erin, so…"

"Wait, really! I just wanted to talk about the situation…", the uncertain Erin's voice surprised her. It was so strange to hear her insecure.

"The situation?", Jay spat, holding his disappointment which did not escape from Hailey, "There is no situation to talk about! You left three years ago, Erin, three years! Without an explanation, without a greeting! And you want to talk now?", hearing his bitter laugh, Hailey could also imagine his expression.

"Jay…I had to go, I could't do anything else…", Erin tried to justify herself.

"I know, I understand it, but an explanation…", Jay's voice dropped a few shades letting out a note of sadness that made Hailey's shoulders drop, "Look Erin, if this makes you feel better, that's fine. But I got over it, I had my closure a long time ago, so really…this conversation seems useless to me."

"Jay, seriously. Let talk about it, tonight…"

The moment of silence that followed her words made Hailey hold her breath.

"No, I'm busy tonight. And tomorrow too. And I'll always be busy", Hailey heard a long breath coming from Jay, "Look Erin, it was what it was and it will always be important to me. But it's been a long time, I no longer hold you grudge…"

"Jay Halstead, you look so different!", Erin chuckled sadly.

"Naah", Jay giggled, "Always the same, but I've solved some personal problems…"

"Thanks to Upton, wasn't it?"

Hailey could feel his partner moving uncomfortably on his own legs and imagined him pondering his next words, "She helped me, yeah. She kicks me in the ass when I'm a jerk and she's always been there for me."

"Seems to be a good partner…"

"I thought you already understood she's a smart one. But, for me, she's a great partner, and she's my partner and now she needs me and I'm going to be there for her. So Erin, seriously, let it go. Three years have passed, just let it go."

Jay's last words were followed by a few steps that approached the locker room. Hailey tried to remain indifferent despite the fact that her head was working overtime processing her partner's words.

"Hails, I'm ready if you're ready", his soft voice made her turn and nod in his direction.

The way to the car was peaceful and quiet. Her head was hammering harder and she could only think about the moment she would finally lie down.

The last thought before sinking into the heat of his car was that perhaps that was the last time she heard Erin's voice, maybe forever.

* * *

"I'll go get you a couple of painkillers and leave you a change of more comfortable clothes in my bedroom. I've changed the bed in clean sheets this morning. Do you need anything else?", Jay left her directly at the entrance before disappearing into his room.

He returned a few minutes later changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and always looking so damn gorgeous. Hailey walked past him dragging and sighing with relief at the sight of the glass of water and the two pads on his bedside table.

When she returned to the living room, she thought a century had passed, considering she believed it had taken forever to change her clothes. His pants had to be wrapped several times on her hips to keep them from crawling on the ground and his sweatshirt covered her butt abundantly.

"Can I stay here for a while?", she asked when she saw him concentrated on typing on his laptop.

"You can do whatever you want here, Hailey, you know. But you should sleep…", he made some space for her on the sofa, reaching out to turn off the light and take her a blanket.

Hailey leaned back on the opposite armrest of Jay and slid into the pillows, her feet unconsciously slipped under his thigh and she immediately sank into sleep, Jay's presence as a natural tranquilizer.

"Hails, wake up, come on. You have to eat something…", his warm touch shaking her made her wake up slowly. She looked around noticing two plates of soup on the table. No light came from the window and she assumed it was evening.

They ate in a peaceful silence, the normality that shone through every gesture.

"You were right this morning, you know?", she said after lying down in the same previous position. The only noise in the room was the ticking of his fingers on the keys which she found strangely relaxing.

"I'm not surprised, I'm always right", he said indifferently continuing to study the report.

"I'm serious, genius", this caught his attention because he tilted his head towards her looking at her curiously.

"You really are the best partner in the world. And I'm so lucky having you…", she murmured blushing and clasping her hands against the blanket.

The silence lasted for a few moments, but then Hailey felt Jay's warm hand on her ankle, "This goes both ways, 'cause I'm really lucky too, Hails."

Hailey smiled letting her eyes flutter with exhaustion. She focused for a moment on Jay's concentrated expression as he leafed through a file and she slowly felt asleep feeling his hand gently stroking the bare skin of her ankle that was now resting on his lap.

And to her immense dismay, Hailey realized this was absolutely natural, as if they could do it every day.

* * *

**Hi guys!**

**Ideas keep spinning in my head these days! Also because, unfortunately, I have a lot of free time: the coronavirus situation in my area is pretty serious ...**

**So I really have a lot of time to write for you all!**

**About this story...sorry but I absolutely had to write a story with Erin, a beautiful woman but I always struggled to tolerate her as a character. Don't hate me!**

**Besides, it seemed right to give that poor soul of Jay Halstead a closure to their story. That man deserves some joy, don't him?**

**Love, H**


	6. Chapter 6

"Detective Upton, there's a visit for you."

Sergeant Platt's voice broke the calm that hung between the desks.

A silent nod from the detective caused a mutter from the woman who walked away returning to the entrance. Seconds later, two female voices spinned Hailey up the stairs.

"Hailey! Or do I have to call you Detective?", the cheerful voice from a woman hopping up the lasts steps triggered everyone's heads in her direction.

"Girls? What are you doing here?", after a first moment of confusion, Hailey joined them in a hug.

"You don't answer my calls, honey, so…here we are!"

Hailey looked around slightly disturbed, deciding the best idea was speaking without prying ears. She pushed her friends into an empty room, immediately closing the door behind her.

"So, what's going on?"

"Oh honey! I'll have called you a hundred times… Why did you never answer me? Do you remember the party is in two days, don't you?", Claire stretched out her arms on the table.

Hailey uneasily wiggled against the door jamb trying to keep the feeling of cold running down her neck at bay and making her brain work on the best excuse to use, "No…yes, you're right… But you know, I don't know if I'll be free, with this job…"

"Oh Hay Hay, if the problem is that you'll be alone, you don't have to worry! You'll certainly not be the only one! And then, maybe you'll get to know someone interesting…"; Layla's words hit her straight in the chest.

"That's certainly not the problem!", a strange heat colored her cheeks as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"And so?"

"Come on! Don't tell me you can't have a free evening!"

The voices of the two women followed each other at moderate speed leaving Hailey very little chance to think.

"Okay, I…I'll be there, okay?"

Her words were followed by some screams and two pairs of arms that tightened around her. Hailey found herself sighing recognizing of her defeat, before realizing she should have to solve another problem: finding a companion.

"So…now are you going to introduce us to your colleagues?", and Hailey knew that Layla had been waiting for this moment since she had climbed those steps.

Opening the door, the woman wholeheartedly wished the others had gone out but she knew if something had happened she would have been warned, so she took a deep breath preparing herself for the inevitable. Claire and Layla were her closest friends, but while Claire knew how to be nice and quiet, well…the same could not be said about Layla.

"Hey guys…since they're here, I want to introduce you to two of my friends…", she started approaching her desk, "Layla and Claire", she said pointing first to the woman with a black hair bob and then shifting her attention to the one with long red hair, "We were classmates at university…"

As soon as Hailey realized Layla didn't need her help to meet someone new, she turned to Claire still close to her side.

"How should I dress for an engagement party?", she whispered uncomfortably arousing a sweet laugh from Claire.

"An evening dress will be fine, honey. For me it's only important you'll be there."

The conversation caught Vanessa's attention, who quickly approached them with a wide smile on her lips, "I heard about evening dresses, does that mean we go shopping?"

Hailey muttered under her breath, her already little enthusiasm now under her shoes, "No, I should have something elegant in my closet…"

"Oh no, give me just an hour, I already know what you'll need", the bright expression her colleague gave her made her regret again she accepted that invitation.

Hailey's attention was captured by the conversation Layla was having next to her. The dazzling smile she was showing off perfectly reminded her of what she wore in college to impress the boys.

"Officer Atwater, Kevin. Nice to meet you", Kevin stood up from behind his desk, shaking her already stretched hand in his direction, before Layla turned to the last member of the group, the one who still was behind Hailey.

"And you are…Officer…?"

"It's Detective", Hailey and Jay replied in unison.

"Incredible…", Vanessa's amused murmur earned her a glare from Hailey, not before she felt herself blushing.

"Halstead, Detective Halstead. But Jay is fine", he replied, standing up and holding out his hand to them. But his gesture was not returned.

"Are you Jay?", Claire stared at him with a curios look.

Jay exchanged a quick glance with Hailey before looking puzzled at the other woman, "It seems to be me, yeah."

Layla turned to Hailey with a mischievous smile on her face that made her worry about, "So this is Jay. Oh, now I can understand so many things…"

"Ok, it seems to me we are talking about the obvious, so…", Hailey was interrupted by his parter who briefly looked at his cell phone.

"Our witness has arrived, Hails. Come with me?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's go!", she took advantage of the situation to escape the embarrassing conversation that could have taken place in front of everyone and trotted happily alongside his partner. Happy until she realized she had left her friends with her colleagues…and her friends had witnessed some of her drunken statements about Jay she was still ashamed of. _Dammit_.

* * *

"Just say it."

Jay's voice woke her from her thoughts. Her attention had always remained focused on the landscape that flowed behind the window as they were returning home.

"Huh?"

"I can hear you thinking from here. It's about your friends' visit, isn't it?"

Hailey sighed knowing she couldn't put it off for much longer, the party would be in two days and she swore she would be accompanied. She would not given Layla the satisfaction of seeing her arriving alone.

"Hmm, Claire, remember her?", she stared the speech from distance, still not knowing what she could say.

"Red hair, hazel eyes, gentle and calm." She nodded convincingly to his response, now she was not even more impressed by his ability to remember details, "Yeah, in two days I have to participate at her engagement party…"

"Wow, I didn't know she was getting married! Well, congratulations!", Jay's gaze was always focused on the road.

After a few moments of silence, Hailey realized he was just waiting for her to continue.

"Yeah, well, I was wondering that, if you have nothing to do, you could accompany me. Obviously you don't have to feel forced and if you have something better you can tell me and I won't be offended, really there's no problem! Layla provoked me saying I would go alone because no one would be there for me, but it was just something that had occurred to me, but you know what? Forget I asked you, okay? Forget it, all right", Hailey knew she was delusional, but the words came out before she could totally connect her brain to her mouth.

"Are you officially inviting me to an engagement party?", Jay's amazed voice entered the panic curtain in her mind and she rolled her eyes trying to figure out what to answer him.

"Hails, I'm just kidding. I'm happy to accompany you. Tell me place and time and I'll be there."

"Really?", Hailey stared at him narrowing her eyes, ready to be joked.

"Why are you surprised: I always have your back, partner."

* * *

"_Go home. I'll be late, have to finish something with Voight. See you there._"

Hailey read the message and her first thought was he would just ditch her. She found herself experiencing opposite feelings: it was a relief because it seemed really difficult going to a party with Jay, to introduce him to everyone and to be able to keep her feelings at bay all the time, but she wouldn't have wanted anyone other at her side to face that event. She sighed hard responding quickly to his message.

"_Don't worry. Just let me know if you can't come._"

"_I'll be there and I'll be the one with the tie. See you later._"

* * *

"I should be used to your delays, you know?"

She raised her face at Jay's voice. He was waiting for her leaning against the concrete block at the top of the stairs clutching the collar of his coat to fight the cold.

"Thanks for waiting out there!", she said as soon as she approached him. Jay smiled at her and then stretched out an arm so she could grab it. She looked at him doubtfully but in front of his cheerful expression she humored him and they slowly made their way towards the entrance.

_It was going to be a long, difficult night…_, she thought.

Turning to him after leaving their coats at the entrance, she caught him staring at her with intense gaze, before quickly moving his face to the main hall.

"Wow, your friend really does it big…"

"Yeah, Claire's family is pretty rich."

"Seeing at her I would not have thought this…"

"She never made the money influence her nature…", Hailey stopped seeing a cascade of red hair heading towards them at the speed of light.

"Hailey, honey! I'm so glad you managed to come!", Claire hugged her kissing both of her cheeks, "And Jay, it's a pleasure to see you again", she smiled gently giving an amused sideways glance at her friend who was embracing the future husband, David.

"I congratulate you, the other day in the office I didn't have a chance to do it", Jay briefly hugged Claire while Hailey tried to hide her confusion. And evidently Claire was also amazed.

"I didn't know you would accompany her…", her laugh made the boy smile too.

"Yeah, unfortunately with our job we don't have many certainties and I'm also on a particular case with our Sergeant so I didn't want to give confirmations and ending up disappointing them… But a promise is a promise", Jay's sly smile made Hailey blush while her heart was beating too fast realizing how Jay had covered her inventing this story.

"Then I'm glad you made it so my beautiful girl here also came!", Claire hugged her again.

"Guys, eat, drink and dance! We're here to party tonight!", David shook Jay's hand before walking away arm in arm with Claire.

"It seems have gone well, isn't it?", Jay handed her a glass of wine and pushed her towards the buffet.

Hailey shook her head slowly, a sip of wine wet her lips, "It wasn't Claire who worried me…"

"Layla?", Hailey sighed nodding wearily.

"I'll try to give my best", the smirk Jay gave her made her laugh.

"Oh, I don't doubt it! With all that charm you brought out before, you will certainly be able to enchant anyone!"

Jay laughed following her to a table, "You give me too much credit, Hails."

* * *

"I cannot believe! Hailey in an elegant dress!", Layla's voice reached them from behind, both too lost in their speeches, "And…Jay! What a surprise!"

He smiled getting up and shaking her hand, "Yeah, you're not the first to tell me!", he chuckled.

"Well, Hay Hay, you didn't tell me you were coming with your partner…", the look she gave her made her feel slightly uncomfortable. The discomfort in which she always put her during their university time. Jay drew attention to himself telling the same version he had previously said to Claire, adding a few smiles here and there.

To the third question about her private life, the first two all diverted by Jay, Hailey just wanted to take the napkin she nervously held in her hands and put it in Layla's mouth, just to be able to keep her quiet. She loved Layla, but they always had been so different in everyday life they ending up arguing anything of little importance.

And the way she touched Jay's shoulder, of course she had noticed! How she smiled at him! She knew her so well that she knew what her way of flirting was, she had seen it happen hundreds of times at the university. When she stuck her nails into the palm of her hand, she was torn out of her thoughts only to realize she was jealous. The revelation made her panic, she got up quickly and, muttering something about going to the bathroom, she left them.

She emerged from the bathroom only after regaining a semblance of control and the first person she saw was Jay, rested on the opposite wall waiting for her.

"Never do this again, Hailey. Never leave me with her again! It's not what partners do, you know?", he squeezed her on the shoulder imitating a desperate expression and then pushing her towards the hall.

"You are a big boy, Jay. You can defend yourself from a woman!"

At her words, he looked at her puffing and pretending to shiver and it managed to snatch her a laugh. Because Jay was just like that, he always knew what she needed.

She slowly dragged him towards the center of the track to imitate what everyone was doing: dancing.

"Hailey, I don't think I'm capable of that, you know?", Jay looked around, an expression of unease.

"No, I doubt it. You were a Ranger, you can definitely dance!"

Jay stared at her for a few seconds with his mouth wide open, then he surrounded her back with one arm while the other took one of hers, "You're right: I can dance", he said making her take the first steps and after a few seconds of silence he continued, "But it's not for the military… My mother taught it to me when I was a child."

At his words, Hailey raised her head to stare at him. It was strange to him speaking of his mother, a rare event, and as such she remained silent listening to him telling about his past.

"She loved dancing… When I was eight, she decided that Will and I should have learned dancing because, she said, at our weddings she could boast it was her credit… How strange life is, huh?", a resigned sigh slipped through her hair on her crown.

Hailey moved her hand behind his neck, slowly stroking his hair, "She would have been proud of you two, Jay."

A bitter laugh shook him, "I don't think she wanted one of his children to go to Afghanistan."

"Afghanistan has nothing to do with this, you know. What you are now, what you do everyday… I can imagine her being one of the most proud mothers in the world!"

He tilted his face until they met their eyes, a slight smile hovered on his lips, the smile he only reserved for her.

After a few moments, still twirling slowly in the room, he broke the silence between them, "My mother also loved flowers… we lived in a house with a beautiful garden and, I remember, in spring she forced Will and me to plant flowers all over the garden. I remember she loved peony bushes and roses, white and red. But her favorite flowers were tulips and freesias. I don't even know how I remember these names, but she was so happy, she spent hours among her flowers…"

"I also love freesias…and white roses. I hate yellow ones instead. Once, I dated this guy and he came with this big bouquet of yellow roses and I didn't know what to say because, seriously, why give yellow roses? I don't understand!"

Jay chuckled resting his cheek on her hair, "And you're not even a red rose girl."

"Why?"

"Red roses are obvious, but you're not obvious at all…", Hailey felt herself blushing and thanked her face was hidden against his shoulder.

"And anyway…", he continued softly tracing an invisible line with his finger along the bare skin of her back, "…I haven't told you yet, but you are incredible tonight."

His touch and his words made her shiver, she raised her head staring at him, "You're not bad either."

She smiled sweetly letting one hand slip on his chest to straighten his tie and rest on his heart, the other still tied behind his neck.

"Altought I have to admit I miss your flannel shirts", he joked, interrupting their looks.

"Hei, I love my flannel shirts!"

"I've always wondered if there was really skin under all those layers of flannel…"

"How stupid you are, Detective!", Hailey closed her eyes laughing and allowed herself for a moment to believe the universe was turning in the right direction. She had never felt in the right place at the right time more than that moment.

* * *

Hailey slowly dragged herself up the stairs, a cup of coffee in one hand and the phone in the other. She was absorbed in her thoughts when she heard Platt call her back.

"Detective, a package has arrived for you, no sender. It's already on your desk. Know I'm not a mailwoman, so make sure it's the first and last time!", the sergeant continued to mutter returning to her desk.

Hailey stared at her with her mouth open and she ended up climbing the last few steps in confusion. She passed her colleagues already seated at their desks without saying anything, her attention all turned to the bunch of brown paper rested on her desk.

She walked quickly, the coffee soon forgotten in a corner. She picked up the piece of paper protruded from the bunch and, typed on computer, read the words that made her heart beat faster.

"_No matter what, flannel shirts remain my favorites._"

She grabbed the brown paper with her trembling hands and as soon as she saw some leaflets, she know immediately what she would find. She unrolled the paper and two large roses surrounded by a few sprigs of freesias appeared, all the flowers of an incredible pure white.

"Hailey, I have to imagine last night's party went well…", Vanessa approached her and she quickly hid the note in a drawer. It was only for her and she found herself deeply jealous of it.

Kim immediately emerged from the break room leaving Jay who was making coffee, "You met someone and he gave you flowers! He's a precious one!"

"Usually boys give red roses… This is an interesting choice…", Vanessa studied the flowers while Hailey moved to the break room filling a vase with water.

"Red roses are obvious, you know? But the white ones are perfect", she said before turning to Jay, who was still making coffee. He was incredibly concentrated on the coffee maker, but a slight smile floated on his lips.

* * *

**Hi guys!**

**Thank you for the wonderful words of the other chapters! You all are so precious for me!**

**As always: opinions, corrections and critics are welcome!**

**Did you hear about the suspension of Chicago PD? Also for this season, I suppose we'll have no joy for Upstead!**

**H. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Hailey!", his voice caught up them as they reached the cars, "Can we talk for a moment?"

The woman opened the door of Kim's car while she and Vanessa looked at her slightly confused, "We have to go, we'll talk later, okay?"

"No, we talk now!", Jay grabbed her arm by dragging her a couple of cars away, "What story is this? Did you ask Voight to change partner without even telling me about it?!"

"Just for a while…"

"Just for a while! Are you serious? Is that for what happened last night? Because you shouldn't really…"

"Listen, Jay…", Hailey interrupted him running a hand through her hair, "Changing partners can be a good thing… I don't understand why you take it so much…"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!", he exploded raising his arms to the sky.

Rarely she had seen him so upset and knowing that it was because of her made her feel guilty. But she knew it was necessary to get away a bit, for both of them, and partnering with the others could not hurt.

"Come on, Jay, go ahead! It would really be time for you to overcome this fear of abandonment!", the words escaped her before she could think about it and the wound she saw on his face before he hid behind a sufficiency mask almost made her throw up.

"Fear of abandonment? Wow Hailey, I didn't know you thought this about me, but good to know."

"Halstead? Shall we go?", Kevin's voice came from his car parked at the back of the garage.

Jay stared at her for a second longer, then turned without looking back.

She held on from touching her cheek because she felt slapped. He had never given her that look, not even the first day of work with them, when Voight put her at his desk. In those days they didn't know each other, but now they knew each other better than themselves and Hailey knew what would hurt him…and she had used his own weakness.

...

"What?", Hailey snapped clasping her hands on her thighs. All the way she had remained silent and her colleagues had respected the thing, but she could see in the mirror the much louder looks of any word that Vanessa threw to Kim, "I practically hear you screaming in the silence, so talk!"

"Uh, yeah…", Vanessa began embarassed, "You and Jay…"

Hailey saw her desperately looking for Kim before she spoke up, "Well, we all heard you in the garage. Jay was…angry. You good?"

"Good", the girl clenched her jaw staring at the road.

"Well…I don't think I've ever seen Jay like this…"

"…but I'm sure it will pass", Vanessa concluded smiling with conviction.

"I doubt it", Hailey muttered, slamming the door and strode towards the door of their witness's house.

...

"_50-21 George. Agents under enemy fire. Trapped in witness's house. Explosives and shots fired. Ask for reinforcements. Oz Park, corner Dickens Ave with Howe St_", Jay's voice boomed within the cockpit a few minutes after they returned in the car.

"We are not too close, but answer anyway!", Kim leaded on the seat pressing the accelerator.

"_50-21 Henry, we coming_", Hailey tightened the vest Vanessa had passed her from the backseat, "Is this your first intervention with a possibile fire?"

"Yeah, is it cool?", Vanessa was slammed against the door thank to Kim's sport guide.

"The first time I saw them, I wanted to be one of them…"

"Nah, too much smoke and little air, no thanks!", Hailey shook her head in Kim's direction. Her mind was actually already at the crash site. It seemed so strange to her not having Jay in the car with her.

They arrived at the same time as Voight, the firefighters had just started working on the fire that had developed inside the house.

"Casey!", Kim quickly approach the Sergeant, "What do we know?"

"Nothing serious, the recovery will be simple. Brett and Foster are ready if there is a need", he indicated the ambulance parked across the street. He had just finished talking that a loud rumble threw them against the parked cars.

"What the hell is going on?", Hailey got uo on her knees, wiping her eyes from the soot.

"Casey, come here!", Severide came out from behind the truck with the mask already on his face, "It seems the last explosive remained active. Halstead had just warned us. I come in, you there?"

"What the hell happened in there?", Voight thundered behind them slamming a hand on the hood of his car. None of them had the courage to say anything, their eyes still on the burning house.

...

It wasn't long before some staggering shadows came out of the smoke.

Kevin being dragged to the ambulance by Severide as Jay slowly approached Voight and Hailey instantly heaved a sigh of relief.

"Sarge, when we arrived Johnson was not alone! He took us to the basement, where Marks came out and set a trap for us. Johnson was his accomplice", Jay managed to say before started coughing.

Voight nodded with his gaze still fixed on the house, "What about the explosions?"

"Plastic explosives were triggered in the basement…"

"Marks and Johnson?"

"They didn't make it", Jay brushed his hair revealing a deep cut on his neck.

Hailey stared at the wound and concentrated on refraining from leaning towards him, "What about Kevin?"

"He hit his head and was passed out for a few minutes, a few cuts… He's going to the hospital anyway"

"He's not the only one. You are going too", Voight left before Jay could reply.

"I'm sorry Jay, but good job", Kim overtook him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Not enough, I would say…", he muttered hoarsely, following her.

"Jay…"

"Not now, Hailey", he dismissed her indifferently as he approached Kevin, "Hey man, apparently I'll go with you."

Hailey stood in the middle of the street, the ambulance lights disappearing around the corner and her heart under her shoes.

...

It was already midnight when the three women went up the stairs in silence. The inspection on the crime scene had taken longer than they thought, because they had had to wait untile the flames were all extinguished.

Hailey threw herself into the chair and tied her hair into a braid. She had always hated the smell of smoke, especially when it got stuck in her hair.

"Halstead and Atwater? News?", Voight emerged from his office as soon as he saw them enter.

Hailey shook her head before Kim interrupted her, "They just wrote me, an hour and hospital will release them. If we go get them, they come back here."

"Okay, one of you go picking them. But you all go home, we'll se tomorrow morning. Enough has been done for today", Voight concluded and Hailey felt the last sentence was addressed to her. Or maybe she was starting to imagine things? Was she really so tired? Or did she feel so mortally guilty that she believed Voight accused her of something?

The detective glanced at her phone, hoping to find a message she obviously didn't find. She pretended not to notice the bit of annoyance that was born in her stomach, it was clear Jay would not have written her. He wouldn't have had no reason to do that, not after today.

She let her head fall against the desk, mumbling all her disappointment against herself.

"Okay, the firefighters are pretty sexy, you know?", Vanessa rubbed her temples with her feet stretched out on her desk.

"Yeah and you saw them today that it was cold, but in summer they are a whole other show… all that heat, all that sweat, all those hormones…", Kim sighed dramatically making the other woman laugh.

After a moment of silence, Hailey felt a weight against her arm and, opening her eyes, she noticed how Kim had sat on her desk. On the opposite side to where Jay always sat, she thought before cursing herself to always fall back into the usual circle of thoughts.

"Ok Detective, now you have to tell us what happened with Halstead!"

Hailey shrugged the shoulders sinking her head into her arms and giving a disapproving grunt.

When Kim grabbed her arm and shook her, she looked up at the closed door of Voight's office, "Not here, let's go."

Hailey closed the door of the break room behind her and then slowly went to make coffee.

"Okay, I'm imagining any possible scenario in my mind…", Kim scratched her chin by twirling her empty cup.

Hailey sighed now accustomed to their insistence. She knew she needed to give voice to what had been consuming her all day long. At the same time, however, she never spoke of her private life and having to talk about it with them made her feel uncomfortable.

"Really, don't imagine big things, it's really nothing…"

She tried to lighten the speech hoping to be able to distract them enough to stop talking about what had happened.

"Yeah surely Jay screaming is nothing important… I think I've known him for six years…", Kim reasoned, "and I'm particularly sure I've never seen him like this, not with any of us…"

Hailey hid her discomfort behind the mug full of coffee. She couldn't stop thinking about the look in Jay's eyes in the garage, how his shoulders fell in realizing her words and how he shook his head giving her his back. A feeling of vomit rose up her throat as she thought about the day, her words and the feeling she had felt in front of the burning house.

She had avoided Jay all day long, limiting their interactions to a minimum. But, in the afternoon, when she was in his car with him, who continued to observe her out of the corner of his eyes, she risked losing it. So when they got back of the district, she went to Voight without saying anything to Jay.

She only needed to breathe a few days without him, to get through last night and start thinking again of being able to work with him without fear of losing herself if she lost him…but maybe it was too late for that. Perhaps she had already gone beyond the limit she had promised herself not to exceed a thousand times.

She kept muttering to herself for a few minutes before Vanessa caught her attention tapping her fingers against the coffee table.

"So Ruzek?"

"Today he removed the plaster and tomorrow he'll come back to work, but only for desk work…", Kim filled her cup of coffee.

"I'm happy for him and us, considering we don't know how Kevin is after…"

"I kissed Jay."

Hailey turned to the sink to hide the obvious embarrassment of just saying those words.

"You what?!", Kim yelled after a moment of silence, "Ok, this was not included in my scenarios…"

"Sorry Hailey but I can't help laughing, I knew it would happen!", Vanessa leaned back in the chair with a sly smile on her lips, "But…did you kiss him? He kissed you?"

"What changes?", Hailey muttered with her face still hidden.

"Change everything!", Kim said seriously.

"I kissed him, okay?"

"Yeah, I should have gotten there…", Vanessa walked around the room scratching the back of her neck and thinking out loud, "Halstead is a real gentlemen, he would never have done it…"

"But when? And then, what happened?"

"Last night, at his home…", Hailey sank into the free chair hiding her face in the hands, "And then…I left…."

"And today you asked for another partner."

Hailey mumbled something letting her forehead fall on the table.

"It's not over here…"

"Please, tell me that you realized your mistake, you went back to his house and ended up sleeping with him!"

Vanessa earned a disdainful glance from Hailey, who soon turned to a shame one, "This afternoon, in the garage…I wanted to convince him to let me change partners without making too many stories and I said things that…"

"Now I can understand…", Kim touched her hand resting on the table, a kind expression on her face, "You have to talk with him, Hailey. He will have been offended, but he cares about you…"

"I agree, so you won a trip to the hospital!"

Hailey sighed returning to lean her forehead against the table, after a second of silence Vanessa's amused voice made her snort exhausted.

"You kissed Halstead! I would have liked to see it, heck!"

...

"I can not believe my eyes! My favorite Detective came to take me home!", Kevin's exalted voice made her lift her head from the screen of her cellphone. She saw Jay and Kevin exited out the emergency room doorway, the first pushing the second in a weelchair.

"Hey! How are you two?"

Jay recognized her presence with a head gesture, and for Hailey this was already something, considering she thought he would completely ignored her.

Kevin, on the other way, was completely thrilled to see her and sitting in the wheelchair was something he just could't do.

"They gave you some good stuff, huh, Kev?", Hailey made fun of him seeing his dilated pupils, "You're as tall as a kite!"

They slowly made their way to her car parked in front of the entrance, "So what did they tell you?", she whispered to Jay trying to feel his mood.

"Slight head injury and distorted wrist for him, seven stitches in neck for me", he replied in a monotonous voice.

"Come on, big boy, get in the car and we'll take you home!", Hailey dragged Kevin making him sit in the back seat. The man didn't completely agree with her and, resting his weight on the small frame of the woman, he held the tip of her blonde braid between his fingers.

"You are so…little, Hailey", he hummed giving her a few pats on the top of her head, "So little girl! But I love you, you know? So small and pretty!"

Then he removed the elastic from her hair and untied her braid, "Better like this, little Hailey! Are we going home, now?"

She found herself laughing at his antics, so different from the usual working Kevin, "Yeah big boy, now I'll take you home", she slid him along the back seat and, once the door was closed, she turned to see Jay who was returning the wheelchair to the hospital.

She took a deep breath realizing that if she wanted to fix it, she should have done it at that time. Then she leaned against the passenger door waiting for him to come back.

"So what bet did you lose for having to come here?", his voice startled her.

"Actually I chose, I wanted to talk to you and I didn't know how else to do it…"

"So now you want to talk. You ignored me the whole day but now, which is almost half past one in the morning, you have decided to talk… And what do you want to talk about, Hailey?", his voice, calm and cold, made her shiver.

"I…", she ran a hand through her hair trying to calm the desperate beat of her heart, "I wanted to apologize to you."

The amazed and almost hallucinated expression he addressed her disappeared immediately behind a mask of indifference and silence.

"I said things, this afternoon…that I shouldn't have said…because I don't think that…"

He sighed looking behind her, then leaned against the hood of the car, crossing his arms over his chest, "You know I wasn't pissed at what you said in the garage, did you?"

Hailey felt her head snap in his direction and looked at him in amazement, so he continued.

"I know it was a way to push me away and put you all back in one piece, I know you. You needed to get through what happened last night, didn't you?"

After a very slight nod of assent from her, he continued, "And I let you do it because it was what you needed. But I won't always reject you, Hailey, I can't lose the person who knows me best in the world…"

She raised her face to the sky, to the light rain that had just begun to fall. How could he know her so well? And why didn't this scare her as it should have?

"Yeah, you're right. I wanted to push you away because…because last night I was wrong and…I didn't want it to change something between us…"

The bitter laugh that came out of his throat made her turn to him, "You didn't want something to change so you just asked for another partner! Cut the shit out, Hailey, I'm not in the mood, okay? Can you just take us home? Kevin is singing in your car…", he reached out putting a hand on the door handle making it clear she should have moved and finally brought them home.

But Hailey didn't move an inch, her gaze still on his face.

"Listen, it's fine. Do you want to forget the kiss? Fine. But you can't expect the same from me, I just can't forget it…"

"I can't…", she choked her next words wiping her face from the raindrops.

Jay looked at her, a confused expression crossed his forehead, his green eyes fixed on hers and Hailey had to force herself to remember how she breathed. Because she knew it was a bad decision, yet she also knew it was the best decision of her whole life.

So, when she saw him opening his mouth to speak, she simply stopped thinking. She crashed his lips, balancing on his shoulders. He remained frozen in place, until his hands slid down her back.

His lips were still so soft and gentle against hers and Hailey stretched her arm tying her fingers through his hair. She carefully avoided the white dressing on the side of his neck passing her other hand on his chest, while he pushed her more deeply against him. After a few seconds, he grabbed her hair, now wet, pulling it down and she found herself panting with her face turned towards the sky.

"Hailey", he breathed her name as he ran his lips over her neck and she shivered at the effect it had on her, "What does it mean? What does it mean for us?"

She narrowed her eyes against the rain, her chest moving quickly and her mind completely clouded by the sensation of his perfume against her and his lips on her neck.

"Step by step", she gasped before catching his lips again.

"No retreat, Hails. Tell me."

"No retreat. To hell the retreats, kiss me."

She found herself laughing when he bumped her against her car. And then, his lips made her forget her name.

...

"Guys, can you imagine Halstead almost passing out when they had to mend him?"

Hailey saw Jay raise his head and cast a deadly look at Kevin.

"How many stitches did you earn, Jay?", Kim said silencing the tease that was easily slipping from Adam's lips.

"Seven…", Jay gasped as he touched the white dressing.

"Ah, anyway, I don't know if I was blown away but I'm pretty sure I saw Hailey kissing Jay", Kevin laughed as silence fell in the room.

Hailey's head shot up giving a desperate look to Jay, who, instead, remained impassive staring at Kevin.

"What?", Adam thundered in silence.

Hailey, still giving her shoulders to the others, dared not even breathe. On the contrary, Jay kept a disinterested expression as he slowly got up from his chair, "Well Kev, last night you told me you would like to have dinner with Platt, what do we want to trust?"

Then he turned the corner, giggling alone and hearing everyone else burst out laughing.

"You're unreliable, Atwater! You were blown away!"

Hailey found herself frozen for a few more moments, but their laughter brought her back to herself and quickly stood up and reached her partner in the break room while pouring a cup of coffee.

"Did he really say that?", Hailey whispered making sure they were alone and closing the door.

The smart smile Jay gave her made her blush, "It's something that only Kev and I know, sorry partner."

"So…seven stitches, huh…", she slowly approached him to reach her cup.

"I confirm this, it was awful. I hated Will… But look here, I'm still standing!"

"You were brave, a real strong cop…", she said, taking another step towards him and seeing him blush, the freckles that clearly stood out on his fair skin.

Now she had to keep her head bent back to be able to see his face. And his green eyes, illuminated by the direct light, had never seemed so beautiful for her, "My hero!"

And with a loud laugh, he raised his face and shook his head.

And Hailey immediately decided that his laugh was her favorite sound.

* * *

**Hi guys, here I am with the seventh chapter of these stories!**

**As always, I hope you enjoyed it. What do you think?**

**I don't know if you saw the last episode of ChiPD, but the end of the episode left me quite upset! And what do you say about?**

**See you soon, H**


	8. Chapter 8

"Can you believe spring has come? It seems impossible!", Hailey sighed stretching her head out of the car window, "This year the winter seemed never end… I didn't think a city could see so much rain!"

"And I thought your favorite season was autumn…", Jay chuckled stopping at a traffic light.

"Please! Spring is the most beautiful season of all! First warm sun, flowers, scents in the air…"

"Pollen, bees, …"

"You're nice today, huh? Come on, turn there! At the end of the road there is a nice park!"

She knew he was about to protest, but her indignant gaze silenced him.

"Voight won't said anything! We are not doing nothing wrong, we check that everything in the park is fine! Anyway, our shift ends in ten minutes, so…", the dazzling smile that launched him led him to surrender. And, with a very loud sigh to make her heard, he turned at the corner to satisfy her.

They made the short walk up to the enter of the park with Hailey continuing to talk about the hellish night that Vanessa had put her through. Kevin and her had drunk too much the night before and she spent the night throwing up in the bathroom.

"These are the moments that make me wonder if I've become too old…", she said while Jay chuckled looking around.

The sun was a red ball now low to the horizon, one of the most beautiful sunsets of the last few months in Chicago and Hailey was willing to absorb every color and every moment. She trotted beside him with blonde hair moving in the wind and his gaze wandering the park.

And for a second, Hailey wondered if her whole life could be like this. Working with Jay, going home and finding Jay, spending her free time with Jay. She wondered if, despite all her problems and her past, she really deserved a naturally good person like him.

After all those cold months, the city seemed to slowly come back to life. The park was full of people, some jogging, others reading in the shade of a three, children playing on the lawn.

"You know, we should organize such a nice day with the others…"

"Yeah, but wen do we ever have days off?"

Hailey rolled her eyes impatiently, "You really want to take my mood off today!"

He laughed shaking his head. She knew he was doing it on purpose, because annoying each other was their favorite hobby. Not that they would admit it, of course.

"Now that I've taken you for a walk, we can go back…"

"Hey, I'm not a dog!", he protested.

"Wait, I've an idea! Shall we play a game?", she asked with her puppy eyes, "If I told you Kevin, what dog would you think of?"

"What? Do you want to compare our friends to dogs?", he shook his head in amusement, but managed to refrain from laughing in her face.

"Okay, I'll start… For Kevin I would say Newfoundland. Without a doubt. The giant good, proud and friendly… Adam?"

Jay set next to her on the bench taking time to think, his gaze among the people, "A boxer dog?"

"Faithful, loyal to the family… I agree."

"I didn't know you were so expert of dogs… What about Vanessa?", he said after a moment of silence.

"How about a Jack Russel?"

"Curious, lively and always alert? It's definitely her!", and both ended up laughing remembering the constant energy Vanessa always seemed to bring with her, "Kim? A cocker? Sweet, empathetic, …"

Hailey nodded firmly, "And Voight a Rottweiler!"

They both laughed at the thought of their boss, a presence that always managed to inspire fear.

"And now, what about me?"

"Simple! You're a Golden Retriever!", Jay retorted immediately without even having to stop and think about the answer. In front of her confused gaze, he continued, "Well, you are friendly, even with strangers…you are lively and faithful… And your blonde hair…"

Before she really realized what he was doing, she saw him reach out and take a strand of hair between his fingers. Only when she looked at him and blushing, he detached himself from her. Then he slowly got up, gesturing for her to go back to the car.

"Okay, what about me?"

"You…", she began turning to face him, her blonde hair fluttered in the wind and her blue eyes peered at him with curiosity, "You would be a German Sheperd!"

"Uh, so obvious…"

"Quite the opposite, they are faithful dogs who do not give confidence to strangers, but above all they have an innate defense instinct… It's totally you, Jay!"

For a second, she thought she saw him blushing, then he looked down at the ground.

She remained silent watching him look around, his green eyes shining with the sun.

And if she really had at least some of the courage she had in front of their criminals, she would have confessed to him that her favorite season was spring simply because it was the perfect season for his eyes and because, with the first sun, his freckles became more evident. And she loved them.

But this would have meant saying many things, opening her heart after too many years. And above all, if she had ruined everything between them?

So, like every other time her feelings threatened to overwhelm her, she ended up rejecting them in dept appreciating what she had. Her best friend and the best partner in the world.

She had just opened her door that a dying scream made them stop in their movements.

They exchanged a quick glance before turning to the spot where another muffled scream came shortly after.

As if it were a scene already done a thousand more times, with one hand already on the gun, Hailey went to his side before approaching the origin of the screams.

They saw a woman slumped against a car, the door open and she clutching the seat in her hands convulsively.

"Chicago PD, Ma'am. All right? What happened?"

Jay put an hand on her shoulder as Hailey looked over the road behind her. The reactive part of her brain realized there were no traces of blood and apparently she didn't seem to be injured, but only when she turned around they understood what the problem was.

"I think…I'm having the baby…", the woman's completely terrified expression made her paralyzed.

"_50-21 Henry. Ask for an ambo for a birth. We are in Garfield Park at the entrance to Carrol Ave._"

She stepped back away from them because, seriously, a child?

She stared at the woman in front of Jay as her mind traveled in every direction trying to figure out what to do. She had never been in such a situation and wasn't ashamed to admit she was more comfortable dealing with criminals. But a child? How was a baby born?

She was brought back to reality by the movement of the woman who literally dropped against Jay's shoulder. A hand tight on his arm as if she were about to break it and a badly hidden scream between her lips.

"Okay, what's your name?", he asked pushing her gently against the seat.

She breathed a few times before she could reopen her eyes, "Annah."

"Well, Annah, I'm Jay and this is Hailey. It looks like we'll take care of you until the ambo arrives. Does this sound like a good plan to you?", he spoke in a calm and sweet voice, hoping in some way to make her relax.

She nodded several times biting her lips.

"Okay, now can you wait a moment here? We get to my car, it's right there", he pointed to it before getting up, "Just a moment, okay?"

He nodded to Hailey who followed quickly, "I'll take the medical kit I've in the car. Put the gloves and take a look."

"What? You're kidding, I hope!" Hailey blocked his way staring at him with wide eyes.

"I'm not an expert, but I guess she'll be more comfortable if you control. Repeat her name to keep her alert. Don't be afraid to show yourself vulnerable, she'll be more vulnerable than you and a female presence will be reassuring for her… Please, Hails. If anyone succeeds in this, it's you, I have no doubts!", he spoke to her leaning towards her and placing his hands on her shoulders.

His green eyes fixed on hers and a strange awareness settled in her stomach. Knowing he believed in her, immediately made her relax. She nodded slowly before she felt the warm grip of his hands vanish from her shoulders.

She went to Annah's car to lay out on the rear seats the two sheets she had found in her trunk.

"Annah, I need you to lie down on the seats", Hailey said helping her to stretch out, "So I can check that everything is fine, okay?"

The second later, Jay materialized next to her, extending a pair of gloves.

"What should I do?", Hailey stared at him with wide eyes.

"I have no idea. Why do you think I should know?"

"Your brother is a doctor!", she exploded as if it were obvious.

"Are you crazy? I'm a cop and he's a doctor but he didn't teach me how to give birth to babies!", Jay stared at her as if she had suddenly gone mad.

"Sorry but…", Annah tried to interrupt them before twitching on herself and screaming at the top of her lungs.

Hailey quickly tied her hair into a long, messy tail before bending over to the young woman by pulling up the red dress that covered her legs.

After a few seconds of silence, marked only by Annah's labored breathing, Hailey stared at Jay shaking her head slightly, "I think this kid is in a hurry to get to know his mom…"

Jay immediately disappeared, reappearing a few moments later from the other side of the car to get into the seat and behind Annah, "Okay, so let's do it! I'm here behind you, I'll not leave you not even for a second, okay?"

She nodded again, probably unable to speak except to scream in pain, Hailey supposed noticing drops of sweat down her forehead.

"I need you to listen to me and do what I tell you, Annah. Now I'll check again", Hailey accompanied every move with a brief explanation for the woman. Jay's calm voice was able to calm her too, although seeing his wrinkled forehead made her guess how in reality he wasn't so calm.

"Is it gonna be okay?", Annah leaned her head against his shoulder while he didn't lose sigh of Hailey's slightest movements. She felt his gaze on her as she noticed him to take one hand of the woman and with the other move her hair aways from her neck.

"It's gonna be okay. I know you're afraid, but it's gonna be okay. An ambo is arriving, Annah, don't worry."

He said this staring at Hailey, an indirect way of making her understand she was also doing well. In what is not known, because she really did not know what she was doing, but for the moment the improvisation was going well.

"I see the head! Oh my god!", Hailey closed her eyes taking deep breaths. She found herself cursing Jay for putting her in this position, but feeling Annah's labored breathing made her eyes widen, regaining a calm she didn't think she possessed.

"Okay, you have to push, Annah. Take deep breaths and when you're ready, push! Squeeze his hand, you can do it. But you have to push, okay? We'll go to your time, but you have to do it!".

She fixed her eyes in the hazel eyes of the woman in front of her. She had terrified look and Hailey could understand her. If she found herself giving birth in the car, she would probably have gone mad.

The ill-concelead screams followed by the first pushes made her cry but the calmness in Jay's voice, who continued undaunted to speak, managed to calm her sobs.

"So Annah, tell me. It's a boy or a girl?"

"A boy…", she gasped with her head abandoned on his shoulder.

Her eyes half closed and her chest rising and falling quickly in desperate research of air.

"Ah, lucky me! You women are so many, we need a few more men, you know?"

This provoked a short and light laugh, and also made Hailey smile. She had never heard of him as much as in that situation. He was usually so quiet and reserved.

"And what about the name?"

A few seconds passed before she was able to answer, but then she told him that in reality she and her fiancée still had to decide. That she had been the one who wanted to wait, because she believed that they would find the right name only after holding him in her arms.

"It seems to be a great plan. And where is your fiancée now?"

Keeping her busy seemed to work because Hailey managed to convince her to push several times as she caught her breach and answered Jay's questions.

She was completely exhausted and sweaty, but she had a resistance that Hailey found envying.

Panting, she explained that he was still at work and that she had waited hoping he would come back in time, but he didn't make it. And that's when they found her.

"Oh my god, Annah!", Hailey's excited scream raised their heads towards her, "One more time, Annah, please!"

It may have been a minute like a thousand, but then the silence of the evening was suddenly broken by a single loud cry. And Annah started to cry so hard that Hailey was afraid she had seizures.

She wrapped the child in her hands in a towel, and he was so small and fragile that the first thought was to break it. She looked at him and it was perfect, small and round. With perfect chubby hands.

She held him out to his mother and saw Jay's expression, still sitting behind Annah. He had a serene, proud and admiring look, all at the same time. She found herself blushing in front of his smile, the one was reserved only for her. Because he had told her, he believed in her. And she had made it.

She looked down at her hands and when she raised her head, she realized her eyes were full of tears.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but suddenly she found herself in the middle od the street with Annah loaded on an ambo. She felt Jay's presence behind her, then his hand on her shoulder, then his low voice, "You okay, Hails?"

"Oh my god, Jay!", she turned over, sinking her head against his neck. And she found herself crying and laughing and crying again, "Did we really do it?"

"It seems so…"

They stared at the ambo disappearing down the street, Jay had wrapped his arm around her while she really couldn't stop laughing and crying.

"That's the adrenaline. Come on, let's buy you a drink."

"Come to my place, I'm not going to go out tonight…", Hailey snorted a laugh, "So, basically, I offer myself a beer…"

"You were right, you start to be too old…"

Hailey laughed again as she heard his words and ended up hitting him in the arm before getting into the car.

The journey to her home was silent for the most, interrupted only by a quick call to Voight explaining what had happened despite their shift had long since ended.

Jay left her on her driveway with the promise of returning after taking a quick shower.

Hailey went to the bathroom, undressed and immediately got into the shower. She did all of this like an automaton because the adrenaline still flowed through her veins and her mind traveled miles away.

So was that the feeling of seeing a baby born? Her hands were still trembling, thinking back to the moment when the baby cried for the first time and the gaze of the mother. She was destroyed, tired and aching, but despite all this, the look that Hailey read in her eyes was of complete adoration. As if from that moment, her life had acquired a completely different meaning.

She leaned her head against the shower wall and closed her eyes. And what about her? Would she be able to bring another life into the world? Would she be able to grow it, take care of it?

A laugh escaped her thinking of her childhood. How could she be the example for another person when she herself had not had the best examples in the world? Her father who was what he was and her mother who had always been too cowardly to leave him behind. And she, with this childhood, was she really willing to give birth to a child?

She only got out of the shower when the too hot water started to burn her skin. She dragged herself into the bedroom to quickly change into a comfortable leggings and t-shirt.

She went down to the kitchen wondering where Vanessa had gone when Jay's figure, sitting at her kitchen table, made her jump. "I know you have a copy of my keys, but you should only use them for emergency…"

Jay looked up in amusement, "Vanessa let me in. She said you probably feel asleep in the shower…"

She looked at the clock in amazement, realizing that she had really been in bathroom too long without realizing it. But above all, she hadn't even noticed that Vanessa was home.

She took two beers from the fridge and the pizza Jay's bought and with a quick nod to him, they went into the living room.

Turning on the TV, curling up on the sofa and looking for a program that appealed to both of them was such a natural thing that they didn't even notice it anymore.

She was on her third slice when Vanessa surprised them by rushing down the stairs.

"Oh Hailey, there you are!", she greeted her smiling before smiling her gaze on their position on the sofa, "Jay told me what happened today! How was it?"

Her enthusiasm was always so contagious that even he let out a smile half hidden by the slice of pizza.

"Scary. And incredible. But above all, just scary", Hailey spat, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Oh, it must have been gorgeous! I envy you!", she said stealing a slice of pizza before putting on her leather jacket, "Let's go all to Molly. You come?"

"No way", they said in unison staring at the TV.

They heard Vanessa go away muttering to herself, "You're such a married couple…"

"Have fun!", Hailey shouted in response, hiding her shame behind the pizza.

Jay laughed loudly beside her, "We are too old to go out as they do…"

She nodded, peaceful silence fell into the room for several minutes.

Hailey sank into the pillows until she felt Jay's thigh with her toes. He raised his leg slightly and she, amazed by the naturalness of the gesture, let her feet slide underneath.

She looked at him in passing, feeling her heart run a little faster at the thought of how comfortable she was in that situation.

He had stretched his legs resting his feet on the table in front of the sofa, while his arms were spread out on the sofa cushions. She felt so good and comfortable to have him so. They didn't need to speak. She was delight of his silent presence. It was always nice to have him next to her, on every situation, because he was silent and calming and often he could even appease her nature.

But the situation they were now was one of her favorite. She didn't need big things to spend an evening. A pizza, a beer and Jay. Obviously Jay.

...

"Kev, will you bring me some coffee?"

Kim's exhausted voice overlapped Sergeant Platt's slightly puzzled voice, staring at them from the bottom step of the stairs.

"Halstead, Upton. There's a visit for you."

Hailey lifted her head from the overly large file on her desk. The pages were everywhere and several times she came to fear that it would end up exploding under her eyes. She gazed confused ad Jay, wondering if she had forgotten about any witness they had to listen.

The case that had been occupying them for a week had barely earned her two whole nights of sleep. Between wiretapping during the day and staking out at night, the time to sleep was practically zero and the time to fill in the reports was even less.

This morning was the first morning in days that they were all in the office, all equally destroyed and all equally desperate and sucked into their reports.

Jay returned her gaze shaking his head as confused as she was, "Thanks Sarge. You can pick him up."

Hailey heard Platt's indignant steps go down the stairs muttering something that, if she knew her well enough, had to look like '_As if I were their secretary_', while Adam hid their board with the evidences.

Hailey chuckled trying to give an order, at least apparent, to the mess on her desk. She glanced at the one in front of her and, as if it were a joke, Jay had the desk always so hatefully tidy. And he had to fill out even more documents than she did! Irritated, she ended up slamming two files into the drawer before Jay's voice made her stop.

"Annah!", the man quickly stood up with a nod to Hailey, who turned on her chair.

In front of her, there was the same woman they had rescued on the street almost a month earlier. Now tidy and much more serene, she smiled in their direction accompanied by a man whom Hailey supposed was her fiancée. And in her arms, Annah was holding a baby with big bright eyes and a a blue t-shirt.

Annah immediately embraced her, squeezed her as if they had known each other forever. But then, she did the same with Jay and Hailey forced herself to suppress a laugh by seeing his shoulders stiffen and knowing how he didn't like being touched.

But then Hailey looked back at the baby and it seemed unbelievable that just a month before he was a tiny bean in her arms.

Annah, still with one hand on Hailey's arm, introduced them to Danny. A tall man, taller than Jay - but really, when did she started to compare other men with him? - with hazel eyes and short black hair, he squeezed their hands with a gentle smile on his face.

"Annah told me everything. About what happened and about you two. I'll always be indebted to you!"

"No debt. It's our job", Jay shook his head at the thought of a debt for such a thing.

"It took us weeks to find you. I only remembered your names but we wanted to thank you so much…"

"In the end, we asked to a friend of mine, he's a cop in another district, but when we told him about Jay and Hailey and described you, he said he knew you. Max Ward…"

"Yeah, Max. I know him well. We worked together years ago…"

"You did good, it's really nice to see you! How are you going?", Hailey continued, smiling at the woman in front of her.

"It's incredible and frightening! Most of all frightening", Annah laughed as she moved the baby to the other side.

"We have no idea what we're doing most of the time, but the kid here seems happy, so it's not so bad, is it?", Danny continued glancing at the son.

"And…what about the right name?", Jay's curiosity surprised her. But in reality, all her attention was concentrated in the little human who pulled a lock of his mother's hair. He was so small and round and perfect that Hailey almost wanted to cry.

"I want to introduce you to Brian", Annah smiled, probably remembering the difficult conversation they had had in that car a month earlier, "In memory of Danny's brother."

"It's a really cool name, huh buddy?", Jay turned to the boy smiling sweetly, then resumed his position next to Hailey, "It was really nice to see you. We absolutely have to go back to work, but you did well coming here."

They greeted them and stood at the top of the stairs, seeing them disappear around the corner.

When Hailey looked up at Jay, she noticed how watered down her vision was. She hadn't realized the tears that had accumulated in her eyes.

But why? What was happening to her?

Jay stared at her with a slightly surprised expression, but which soon turned into respect and understanding, just as if he could really read his thoughts.

She knew that in front of his gaze she would need up crying like it had happened that evening in the middle of the street, so she turned her back on him and quickly made her way to the bathroom.

"Hailey, again?", he laughed from afar, causing general laughter from the rest of the team.

"Fuck you!", she replied before turning the corner and feeling a lonely tear slide down her cheek.

"Fuck you", she mumbled again with an emotional laugh and dried up the tear.

* * *

**Hi guys!**

**I have just returned with a new story! I would have liked to publish it on Friday, but I admit they couldn't resist! **

**I haven't updated 'Everything will be fine' for a while, but I got a little distracted writing other stories ... If you haven't read them, please go and do it so I can know what you think!**

**I have another story in mind, probably longer than these one-shots, but first I want to wait to hear your views on this.**

**As always, I already thank anyone who wants to let me know what they think!**

**You are always so kind to me that I don't know how to thank you!**

**With love, H**


	9. Chapter 9

"Remind me how I got stuck in this…", Jay groaned.

"Because I wouldn't let you spend Christmas alone and you wouldn't let me face my family alone."

"So, you're telling me it's kind of teamwork?"

"Of course, partner. Now stop complaining, my mom's cooking is superb!", Hailey snorted, turning up the radio.

"So, I've got three nephews. From my brother Danny, Sam and Emma, and from Cooper only Hazel. Sam's the oldest, while Hazel's famous for embarrassing everyone."

"Is this dinner like a test of courage?", Jay laughs shaking his head.

"Just warning you!"

"I'll handle it. But now, how much is missing?"

Hailey snorted looking at him badly, "It's the fourth time you ask me, you're like a child!"

After a moment of silence, Hailey parked along the driveway that led to an incredible home illuminated by a cascade of colored lights.

"This is your home?"

"No, it's my parents'", she corrected him as she got out of the car.

"Okay, you ready?", then sighed with one hand on the bell.

"I've got your back, partner."

"Mom! Aunt Hailey is here with a tall guy!", the girl who opened the door quickly hugged Hailey before staring at Jay.

"Honey, you finally arrived!", a small woman with a bob of rebellious blonde hair dragged them inside the home, closing the door behind her.

"Jay, it's nice to meet you! I've heard so much about you! I'm Ella, Hailey's mom."

"Oh, hope just positive things. It's a pleasure to meet you, thank you for hosting me here tonight", he said, glancing sideways at Hailey, who was now hanging their coats.

"Hey sis! It's amazing you're here!", Cooper's voice caught up with her and immediately felt crushed in a double hug, realizing Danny had joined them too.

After a chorus of introductions, to which Jay had shown himself much more open and available than she expected, they finally ended up sitting around the table.

Her biggest desire was to sit as far away from her father as possible, which she did perfectly because he was sitting at the head of the table and she was at the other end.

"God, it's delicious! Why don't you cook like this?", Jay muttered enjoying the first course.

"Don't have time and I'm denied, you know", she said blushing.

The looks her brothers gave her weren't so hidden but she hoped Jay wouldn't notice. In fact, she doubted it but he was intelligent enough to pretend nothing happened.

"What did you do to your arm?", the voice of her only nephew made her head jerk up. She knew it would be inevitable to talk about it, but she really didn't want to.

She heard Jay clear his throat, "Getting shot, but it's a long story and really not very interesting."

"Shot? Really?", Hazel spat with wide eyes.

"Hey kid, what ways!", her mother admonished her with her fork raised.

"Shot like it's seen in the movies?", Sam had now forgotten the food on the plate.

"I guess so", Jay chuckled, "But more painful."

Hailey stabbed her flesh forcefully. If she could, she would gladly got up from the table and gone but hey, she was stuck there. So at least she could vent her frustration on the food in front of her. It had been a month since he had been shot and the way to completely recover his shoulder was still a little long. But at least he was alive. He was breathing, talking, bothering her. It was good.

"You two work together, right?"

Hailey emerged from her thoughts upon hearing her father's mellifluous voice. She saw him pointing them with the knife.

"Yeah, from three years", she nodded, gritting her teeth.

She loved her family. Her mother, her brothers, her nephews. But her father…she accepted his presence but was never thrilled to have anything to do with him.

"And is this the first time you've been shot?"

"No, but this was the most…demanding one."

She felt Jay tense beside her. She could clearly perceive the change in his attitude.

"I get you, well I'm sorry but I always though my little girl was too…soft to be a cop…", he laughed mockingly, shaking his head.

"Dad…", Cooper looked at him with wide eyes.

As they were staring at her, they expected her tu burst, but what she was focused on was the sphere of nervousness radiated from Jay.

"Jay, forget it. Jay…"

"You really has no idea what you're talking about! She's the greatest! If you don't know things, you just shouldn't…"

"Jay, never mind", Hailey touched his bandaged shoulder and immediately saw him loosen his grip on the fork he was holding in his good hand.

"Sorry, I…", he stared at her, lowering her head.

If Vanessa had been there, she probably would have snorted amused by their ability to speak without words and, in fact, once again, they ended up staring at each other in silence.

The conversation resumed with a slight tension in the air but Hailey didn't care because all she could focus on was the feeling of warmth that pervaded her remembering Jay's words a few minutes earlier.

"So…", Sam cleared his throat, "Aunt Hailey told us you went in war…"

"I never found myself on the other side of the table", he laughed, looking at her.

"Sorry Jay, they love to talk", apologized Lily, Danny's wife.

He shook his head carelessly, "Yes, I was a Ranger. Two tours in Afghanistan."

"Oh man, bad, huh?"

"I was luckier than others, but it was a long time ago", Jay shook his head, cutting the subject.

The evening flowed happily, his father spent most of his time in silence. Hailey considered it a blessing, everything he didn't say was always better than anything he could say after drinking a few too many glasses.

She had lost sight of Jay when she got up to help Lily tidy up the cooking and serve up the desserts.

"So…"

Hailey sighed in defeat, she knew this moment would come.

"He looks like a good guy…"

"Oh, he is, he's a great partner…"

She was washing the dishes, keeping her eyes fixed on the running water. She felt her daughter-in-law's eyes pierce her skull but her fair complexion would immediately betray her. The wine and the heat in the house had already had their effect and she felt hot cheeks, but she knew Lily. She was incredibly similar to Vanessa now that she thought about it, and she knew that she would call her on her own shit in a second.

"Hailey", Lily stifled a laugh by hitting her side with hers to make her move, "He knows about your father, doesn't he?"

'_Could he not have known?_', Hailey thought rhetorically.

She shrugged defeated, "Yeah, something. Maybe more than what I told him…"

"I imagined it when he defended you."

"Hails!", his voice interrupted their speech. Hailey snapped at Lily pleading with her eyes, then quickly returned to the living room to find Jay waiting for her.

"You want to take this call", he handed her his phone in speakerphone with a smile.

"Upton."

"My favorite Detective!"

"Hey, I heard that!"

"I have to ask why are you answering his phone and is he having dinner with your family?"

Hailey burst out laughing to hide the blush on her cheeks behind the cascade of hair.

"So are you checking out my sweet little bro?"

"Yeah, my mom is fattening him up!", Hailey laughed again seeing Jay steal a carrot from the tray on the table.

"All right in Med?", Jay said looking at her badly.

"For now, yes, but ... I don't say it out loud because it bring bad luck", he added whispering.

Jay rolled his eyes and snorted and Hailey could not help laughing at the two brothers' antics.

"Hailey, I just had a fantastic idea!"

"Oh no…", muttered the man next to her.

"Tomorrow night you should join us two! I don't have the shift and we'll have dinner together!"

"Oh, no. I don't really think so, but thank you…"

"You absolutely have to, you are family too! You can give me a bottle of wine! Now I have to run away, I've a call! Merry Christmas, guys!", he shouted before ending the call.

"See, you can give him a bottle of wine…", Jay imitated, pocketing the phone.

"Why do I feel like I just got out of a shooting?", Hailey scratched her neck trying to hide the redness on her cheeks.

"Oh, the worst will come tomorrow night, he loves Christmas…"

They were interrupted by Hazel who, trotting into the living room, announced that the desserts were ready.

"Do you always eat so much here?", Jay whispered as he sat down at the table.

"Welcome to my world."

"So Jay, what about your family?", Ella stared at him with a nod of the spot where they had previously talked to Will.

"Mom, there's no need to do any questioning", Hailey moaned shaking her head.

Had Jay ever talked so much about himself? No, probably not.

"I only have Will, my brother. The one we were on the phone with."

"Oh, what about your parents?", Ella continued despite the dirty look her daughter had just cast at her.

"My father died last year. And my mother ... years ago. So I only have Will."

"He's an emergency surgeon and he's working all night tonight", Hailey tried to deflect the subject by staring at her mother with narrowed eyes. None of them really needed to ask him about his parents, did he?

"Don't you have a girlfriend? I mean, you're a cop, you have to have a girlfriend!", Sam spat the apple pie looking at him with wide eyes.

Hailey chuckled to herself, she knew her nephew would go crazy for Jay. He would probably talk about him for the next few months because he had become his idol.

So predictable teenagers, she thought amused.

"No girlfriend", he laughed, "I don't have time to meet someone."

"I don't believe it, come on…"

"Sam…", Lily interrupted him looking at him badly.

"Um, we can say that my last relationship ended badly and now I'm okay…"

Jay glanced in her direction ready to see her reaction. Gesture that did not go unnoticed.

"Auntie, did you know her? How was her?", Hazel leaned across the table.

By now Sam and Hazel were completely focused on Jay, their forgotten sweets.

"Yeah auntie, how was her?", Jay slid into the chair and turned to face her. An amused expression on the face.

They never talked about Erin, but the few times her name came up she hadn't been able to hold back her expressions. And Jay knew her well enough to decipher them.

"Adorable…", she muttered behind the glass of wine.

"Adorable? Ah, you're such a fool!", Jay burst out laughing, "Adorable…", then continued to chuckle shaking his head.

Faced with the confused looks of the boys, she continued, "I worked very little with her, I didn't know her well... She was transferred shortly after my arrival…"

"Adorable…"

"Will you stop?", she snapped looking at him while he continued to mutter shaking his head. She thought he would suffer the blow from talking about Erin, but in reality she hadn't seen him so comfortable in a long time.

"Mommy!", Emma ran towards them at the speed of light, "It's snowing! It's snowing a lot! Can we go out to play?", she pleaded for her, opening his hazel eyes in a perfect imitation of his father as a child. And the next moment she was already gone and put on her coat ready to go out.

"Don't think about coming", Hailey pointed to his shoulder after putting on her hat.

"I wasn't going to", he stared at her with an amused expression. The way he got up from his chair earlier made her suspicious. By now she knew his gestures and grimaces of pain well enough after the shooting to know that he had that particular attitude when his shoulder was too stiff and it hurt.

She put the thought aside only when, exiting the garden, she realized that the snow was already reaching her mid-calf.

Emma was happily rolling in a pile of fresh snow while Sam and Hazel had gone on the attack on Danny and Eve, Cooper's wife. It was nice to be surrounded by their laughter, she had always loved that immense courtyard and to see her grandchildren play with it.

She felt Lily's presence beside her shiver in her coat.

"So...he really hates talking about himself, doesn't he?"

Hailey moaned internally, "Just because you're a psychologist there is no need to psychoanalyze everyone."

"I'm studying to make sure it's the right one for you, my sweet little sis!"

She loved Lily. She had been Danny's girlfriend since college and Hailey was small enough to remember Lily as if she had always been with them. She was a good girl, kind and able to calm Danny's short temper. And the two of them had always had an excellent bond, as if she had been the sister she never had.

"Okay, I'll stop. But I'll tell you the last thing, he really looks like a good guy and you two have a special bond. Beautiful and particular."

"Particular?"

"Looking at you, you would say that something more than just partners. He respects you a lot, doesn't he? He was really angry with your father…"

"Yes, he…takes certain things very much to heart."

She came back when her fingertips were becoming numb and reached Jay sunk on the sofa with Cooper and his mother.

"It's an absurd cold out there!", she rubbed his hands hopping on his feet, then sat down next to him.

"Did you get anything?", she whispered leaning over him. She didn't need to specify what she was referring to.

"I'm fine", he said with an amused grin.

She looked at him badly before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom. Rummaged where she remembered there were medicines and, a moment later, she had already sunk beside him, extending a Tylenol tablet and a hot compress.

The smile he gave her, the one he reserved only for her, left her feeling warm and her heart was beating a little faster.

"Honey, I don't think you'll be able to get back to town. There is too much snow…", Ella interrupted them with a distraught expression.

"Great idea, mom! Let's all stay here!", Danny screamed from the entrance.

"Sure, we can equip ourselves for the kids, but your rooms are neat. Is it a problem for you two to share the room?"

She felt Jay stiffen beside her, but the idea of driving at night with all that snow...

"Oh no, really. I can't really accept, I…"

"You have your night bag in my car…"

'_Please don't let me drive in this snow', _ she pleaded with her eyes. And when she saw him nod imperceptibly, she understood that he too had understood what troubled her.

She rushed to retrieve his bag in the car, realizing that there was really a snow storm outside.

"Hails!", she jumped when she saw him appear from behind the jamb at the entrance.

"You crazy?"

"Should we share the bed?", his eyes were wide in an expression of terror.

"It's not the first time…"

And if she had been honest with herself, she would have admitted to hoping it wasn't the last one, but this was another story.

They often ended up falling asleep on the sofa and, since he was shot, she ended up getting into his bed when she was too tired for the sofa. So no, it was absolutely not the first time.

"Yeah but...at your parents'?"

"What are you, sixteen?", she snorted amused, but seeing his serious expression she added, "Listen, outside there is a snow storm, you have shoulder pain and I'm not going to sleep on the sofa. So, now, come with me without making a fuss. My family likes you, nothing bad will happen to you, big boy!"

"Very mature of you making fun of me, Detective", he muttered, following her up the stairs.

She was about to close the door of her room behind them when heard some whispers at the end of the corridor.

"If they sleep together, it's her boyfriend."

"She would have told us, Sammy. Stop that."

"No Haz, you don't understand. We have to investigate…"

"Do your own thing, monsters!", she couldn't stop herself from muttering before slamming the door behind her.

"Ah, auntie's heart. But anyway ... I'm in the kingdom of a teenage Hailey Upton, I don't know where to start snooping…"

Jay had his head completely lost in her library, "You read a lot!"

"I will pretend not to notice that amazed note in your voice", she was changing the covers with others not dusty trying to avoid his gaze.

She didn't really want to drive in the snow at night, but now locked in her room in her parents' house, she couldn't stop thinking about it as an absolutely…domestic thing.

Sleeping with him had become normal by now. And there too, damn, she cursed herself because it really wasn't supposed to be normal.

He had gone to the bathroom and changed into a shirt and shorts. And now he was staring at her leaning against the chest of drawers.

"What?"

"It was nice to be here, a Christmas certainly different from the usual. But it was nice to meet your family, you know?"

His words and gentle eyes, as every time, made her blush. She adjusted the last blanket before taking one of her old pajamas.

She disappeared into the bathroom at the end of the corridor, undressed and, in his underwear and bra, washed her face with cold water. She recognized Lily's steps as she climbed the stairs and panicking, quickly put on her pajamas and ran into the bedroom. She didn't really need to face her now, she was trying to stay focused to face tonight.

"Oh my God! This is the least Hailey thing I've ever seen!"

"Ah, you smart ass!", she slipped under the blanket next to him shivering, "My side is warm!"

"Yeah well…", she saw him blush, "You're always cold in bed."

"You warmed my bed. Jay Halstead!"

His cheeks turned bright red, "You can't talk, you have pink pajamas, you look like a piglet…"

"Hey!", she hit him on the healthy shoulder laughing. It was normal, domestic. Stay in bed with Jay, joke with him.

"So no open door?", he whispered in the dark.

"You are not really sixteen, stop it! Nobody's going to check on us!", she hissed, kicking him lightly in the calf.

"Good night guys, see you tomorrow!"

Just a few moments had passed, when the cheerful voice of Hailey's mother made them hold their breath.

"Hailey, I don't really want to believe that…"

"I'm feeling a teenager again…"

And then, Hailey started laughing and, a few seconds later, Jay followed her. She kept her belly unable to stop. It seemed absurd to be there, the nervousness, the discomfort, the embarrassment, they all went out in one laugh. She heard Jay chuckle beside her, rolling on his good shoulder and facing her.

"Merry Christmas, partner."

His breath collided against her face.

"Merry Christmas, Jay."

...

"How long have you been awake?", Hailey muttered stretching.

She opened her eyes realizing that she was half lying on him, her right arm was resting on his chest and her leg was between his.

"For a while, but it's early. Keep on sleeping."

She noticed his broken breath and a little hissing, so extricated herself from the covers by placing her feet on the floor.

"Where are you going?"

She shivered with the cold and when she looked at her watch she almost got hit. God, it was dawn.

She quickly checked her phone when a message, which came in the middle of the night, made her heart beat a little louder.

'_Thanks for all you do for him. It's very important for me. W _'

"You're in shoulder pain and can no longer stay in bed. I know you, let's go."

They went silently downstairs and, after wrapping themselves in their coats and two blankets, they went out onto the porch and sat there in silence.

It seemed to be in another world, the pure white and silence swallowed them so much that Hailey wondered if all that peace could really exist.

She saw him grind his teeth slowly moving his shoulder. She knew he was trying to take less and less painkillers, but also knew that sometimes the pain was just too strong. Especially in the morning, when the stiff shoulder after a night of sleep complicated every movement.

Then, as she had learned to do by now, got up and untied his sling with now automatic movements.

"You know there is no need…", he said before sighing with relief.

By now she had learned about the point of the neck that she had to untie to make him feel better and, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, standing behind him, she did just that.

The unreal silence that enveloped them was interrupted from time to time by a few short sighs.

He let his head fall back against her stomach, the grimace of pain was slowly disappearing.

The freckles stood out clearly on his fair skin and she had to force herself not to reach out to stroke those on his nose. She loved his freckles.

She loved having him around. Working with him was normal, she knew she couldn't find the same level of alchemy and trust in anyone else. But being with him outside of work was also normal, indeed it was more and more normal. Would she have managed to stay without him?

"I'll owe you forever", he whispered with his eyes closed.

"Why am I awake at dawn and out in the cold? Yeah, for this you will be in debt forever."

She saw a slight smile forming on his lips and told herself that no, she would never be able to be without him again.

This had probably been the best Christmas in a long time for her.

* * *

**Hi guys!  
I haven't updated here for a while but, surprise! Besides this, I have another chapter to publish!  
My exam period makes me incredibly productive and full of ideas!  
As always, I hope you like it!  
Let me know any of your thoughts!  
I love you all.  
Your, H.**


	10. Chapter 10

"You can't say Cruz knows me... Do you think he felt forced to invite me?"

Vanessa trotted beside her, nervously fixing her hair.

"He invited the whole unit, don't worry", Kevin replied, a few steps ahead of them.

He opened the church door and let them enter first.

Hailey needed a few seconds to get her eyes used to the more subdued light. And when she succeeded she was speechless. The nave was decorated with a parade of white flowers. Roses, gerberas and orchids hung on the benches creating an incredible walkway to the altar. Here and there, small bouquets of pink flowers sprouted, which stood out in sharp contrast with the pure white of the other flowers. The golden light that entered the windows ended up giving the room an enchanted atmosphere.

She felt gripped by an elbow and dragged down the aisle while her head was still lost in looking around. Slid into the bench next to Kevin, but only got out of her thoughts when Sergeant Platt sat down next to her.

"You and Detective Chuckles separated today?"

She didn't want to give into the game she had put in place for a few days, she smiled brightly, "I came with Kevin. I don't really know where Jay is!"

Trudy's expression made her understand she did not expect this answer, because if there was one thing they were all sure about, it was that she and Jay would come together.

But no, he hadn't asked her to go together and neither had she.

Taking a break from each other every now and then couldn't hurt her, could it?

Maybe just the little time needed to breathe, to remember how to breathe without his presence.

She had been convinced of it for days, the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced. Even that morning, in the shower and later while getting dressed, she knew it was the right thing. They were partners and friends, but they were not forced to always be together.

She was convinced of it, really. She was convinced of it until she saw him enter the Church, look around and, once seen, reach them.

And there, at that moment, she was no longer so sure.

Luckily for her sanity, the ceremony began after a few minutes, the time needed for the last guests to take place. Hailey was so lost in the magical and romantic atmosphere that, only at the time of the vows, did she realize that Trudy was blowing her nose behind her back. And at the same instant, she realized her eyes were shiny too.

Too many years had passed since the last time she had attended a wedding and did not believe she was so sentimental, but perhaps it is the fault of the marriages.

"You want to change places? Please… ", Kevin muttered to the bench behind them.

"No way, man, all women are yours, sorry."

Hailey turned to cast a deadly look at Adam, sitting next to Voight and Jay. Then she saw Kim wipe two tears against Kevin and an amused snort escaped her lips. It was really the fault of the marriages.

...

"They definitely make it big…" Kim said looking around with his mouth open. Hailey just didn't know how to blame her, because the garden that had been decorated for the wedding party was one of the most sophisticated and classy things she had ever seen. Maybe a little too big, for her personal tastes, but certainly beautiful.

The sunny and breezy spring weather left a romantic scent of flowers in the air. The circular tables were arranged along the edges of the large garden covered by gazebos with long white sheets that fluttered placidly in the wind. The recurring theme of the day was certainly the white flowers. Triumph of bouquets of roses, freesias, hydrangeas were arranged in every corner and the more she looked at them, the more she wanted to put in her nose and close her eyes.

They reached the table destined for their unity while the arrival of the spouses blew up the place of applause and screams of joy. She looked around amused, it was strange to have the team around on a day of celebration. They were always so used to solving cases that taking the time to spend together, outside the evenings at Molly, seemed incredible. And they were all so elegant...she would never get used to seeing Vanessa on heels and Adam in an elegant suit.

She sat down in her seat, noticing how the placeholder next to hers indicated Jay and, when she felt him move the chair and sit next to her, her heart skipped a few beats. Who she wanted to tease? Obviously she wanted to be with him today.

"Uh, it took me a while to recognize you. You shaved."

He smiled at her adjusting his tie, "Yeah, you know…it seemed like the occasion required it…"

"What flowers are these?", Vanessa called her attention slamming a hand on her arm.

With little hidden joy, she realized that each placeholder was accompanied by a flower.

"A hibiscus. It's beautiful", Hailey admired her, turning it in her hands, "Has to be put in the hair!", she couldn't hold back her enthusiasm seeing the pin glued to the short stem.

She caught the flower behind her left ear while Kim imitated her from the other side of the table looking at her a little confused.

"What does it mean?", as always Vanessa took advantage of her passion to discover new things.

"Fleeting beauty…seize the moment!"

She saw her friends looking at her confused and amazed.

"I've always had a passion for flowers. I wanted to be a florist when I was a child", she chuckled blushing.

"She knows all about flowers, all the meanings! She's incredible!", Vanessa was thrilled.

"And what do ours mean?"

Adam held a large white tulip in his hands.

"They are tulips. In the white variant, they can take on multiple meanings, purity, forgiveness and new beginnings."

"I really didn't know your passion…", Kim stared at her with her mouth open.

"Yeah well, it's just a passion, nothing more…"

Lunch passed slowly, each course was accompanied by a speech given by some of the guests and who could do it for Intelligence if not Adam? He entertained the audience making them emotional but above all laugh.

...

"Jay, please, will you take me to dance?", Kim had appeared among them a few minutes after the first dance of the spouses.

"What am I missing?", Adam looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

"Halstead is an exceptional dancer!"

"I'm not a dancer at all!", he complained getting up.

"It will be your Ranger education!"

In response, Adam received a rude gesture that Jay sent him from behind Kim's back.

"Why do I feel like my heart is bleeding because you're not in Burgess's place right now?"

Sergeant Platt stood before Hailey who was chatting quietly with Sylvie and Stella. She looked at her confused before turning her head to find where Kim was.

"I don't know what you mean, Sarge."

"Oh, you know. She knows", Vanessa came out beside them, holding a glass of wine in her direction.

"I don't know, though…", Sylvie was visibly confused as she looked around trying to focus on their speech. She looked at Stella who was walking away giggling and shaking her head, "Why don't I know? You all seem to know…"

"There is nothing to know, trust me", Hailey shook her head finishing the wine in her glass in one sip.

It would have been a long afternoon if Platt and Vanessa had joined forces. And she was desperately trying to keep away from both.

"You know, girls…", Hailey felt an arm surround her shoulders before feeling the presence of Severide next to her, "We should organize more occasions like this!"

He had probably drunk a few too many glasses, but was still incredibly lucid.

"Do you mean weddings? Because I don't know how many of us could get married…"

He waved a hand in front of Sylvie's face.

"I mean events where you are all elegant. Because seriously, you are beautiful!"

"Yeah well, you are not bad either…", Kim reappeared in front of them with a glass in her hands.

Hailey looked around recognizing that it was actually really nice to notice how elegant they all were. She loved her jeans and shirts, but she didn't mind dressing elegant, feeling like a woman.

The choice to decorate the garden with flowers, curtains and white tables made their colorful clothes stand out even more. The bridesmaids' blue silk dresses were absolutely gorgeous, she noticed as she looked at the contrast with Sylvie's blonde hair. Kim's forest green short dress and Vanessa's red one were perfect for them.

She remembered the afternoon they had spent shopping, the three of them together. If they had had no doubts about the color of their clothes, Hailey instead went into crisis. Her first choice was obviously a blue dress and she had found one which seemed absolutely perfect. But after learning that the bridesmaids were dressed in blue, it was clear she had to choose another color.

'_If you find a dress the color of your eyes, it must be yours._' Vanessa's words rang in her mind as she ran a hand over the sky-blue dress fluttering in the wind. She remembered trying it and wondering if it was too…exaggerated. But looking at Vanessa's neckline and Kim's bare legs, she told herself that after all a little neckline and a bare back would not represent who knows what nakedness.

...

"Hey, solitary man."

She had made her way among the guests to reach Jay who was turning a glass of wine in hands leaning against a gazebo.

"All this happiness is beautiful, don't you think?"

She stared at him in bewilderment. He was looking around with his gaze lost on the couples who danced.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry", he shook his head smiling, "I ran away from Casey who was improvising a bet on I don't know what. You?"

"Kelly was saying something about making us dress more often like this. My feet did not agree and I preferred to escape."

"Yeah, I might even agree with him", he said after a few minutes of silence. His eyes slid down her dress and she unwittingly took a step back.

Maintaining a certain composure in the district was successful. It was their job, their heads always focused on something. But there, in a world disconnected from Chicago, it could have been more difficult.

She reached out stealing the glass of wine from his hands.

"Hey!"

"You are not a wine man, I appreciate it better…"

She heard him chuckle next to her, but then her smile petrified when she heard Chloe's voice calling back all the women next to her.

"Oh no…", she shook her head backward. Jay's head snapped towards her and then followed her gaze. When he looked back at her, had an ironic smile on his lips.

"Hide me!"

"Come on, you can't fear this moment! It's just a bouquet, all women love it!"

She shook her head desperately.

"Come on, Detective Upton. You are the bravest woman I know, you can overcome this too!", he pushed her laughing towards the group, then reaching the other boys on the other side of the garden.

All the while, her brain kept repeating himself '_No, please, no, please, no._' She didn't know why, but she always believed that it was bad luck to receive the bride's bouquet.

The bunch of flowers flew into the air in slow motion and when it finally landed in Stella's hands, the whole group burst into screams to which she also willingly joined.

"Hey Kelly, you were right! There will soon be an opportunity to dress like this!", Kim shouted, raising the glass of wine in his direction. Gesture imitated immediately by all.

...

"How much did you pay for this song?"

She jumped when heard Jay's voice behind her. She turned quickly to find him with his hands in his pockets and a sassy smile on his face. Evidently, he took her silence as a request for explanation because then he continued, "Louis Armstrong, seriously?"

She saw him reach out a hand to her, waiting for her to grab him. She let her hand slip into his, entwining their fingers as if it were the most natural thing in the world and then let herself be dragged in the middle of the track.

"It's called good taste, sorry if you don't understand it…"

"Yeah, whatever…", he muttered, stretching his arm behind her back.

They remained silent for a moment while Hailey closed her eyes enjoying one of her favorite songs. One of her hands was draped behind his neck, her fingers stuck in the collar of the white shirt, while the other was intertwined with his.

The feel of his palm against the skin of her back was almost intoxicating. She realized that if she allowed her mind to disconnect from reality even for a few moments, she would admit to herself that his touch was so exciting that it made her lose her mind.

A gust of wind hit her face making her regain a minimum of demeanor. She really needed to recover because having him so close, in a tuxedo and surrounded by his smell, would have brought her to the asylum before the end of the day.

"So Kim was right, you really are a dancer…"

"I can handle. But I don't understand if I should feel offended by the amazed tone that you all have!", he laughed shaking his head.

"Jay Halstead, the man with a thousand hidden talents!", she raised her head to be able to look him in the eye.

"Said from my partner with a passion for flowers…"

"Touchè", she blushed lowering her eyes and fixing them on the tulip in the pocket of his jacket.

"So, Kidd took the bouquet, huh?"

"Yeah, it would be nice to attend another wedding."

She heard his laughter echo in his chest, "If a few years ago they had made me imagine Severide married, I swear I would never have believed it!"

Hailey was silent. When he'd met him, he and Stella were already a couple, so she wasn't sure what Jay was referring to. But they had known each other for many years, so he certainly remembered many other things.

"If you wanted to meet some woman, you just had to go around with Kelly!"

"Oh, and you know it well…", she laughed staring at him.

"God, I was so young. How many, seven years will have passed! Unbelievable! He's been with Stella for some years now, isn't he?"

"Uhm, yeah, at least three I would say. When I had arrived, they were already together…"

"It's strange to think about things like these, but people change. None of us are the same person as seven years ago…"

"We are not the same people as three years ago…", slipped from her lips with simplicity.

In her mind, the memory of when she joined Intelligence and her still bleeding wound for Garrett and Jay struggling with himself after Erin.

Was it possible it seemed centuries had passed? How did they get there?

"We are definitely not the same people."

He kept his gaze on her face for minutes, but then looked away to stare above her head. She felt his arm slide over the bare skin of her back while approaching to him.

Had they ever been so close? She could clearly smell the scent of his aftershave and, coming under his chin, let her head rest against his shoulder.

No, they never hugged each other like that, but if she had thought it would be embarrassing, she would be very wrong. Oh sure, her heart beat almost in her ears, but it was so beautiful and right that, even if it exploded in her chest, she would have agreed.

...

It was dark when the first guests started to leave.

Hailey was sipping yet another glass of wine leaning comfortably against Kevin, Vanessa and Kim were decidedly drunk but too funny to watch. Tomorrow they would wake up with an apocalyptic headache but at the moment Hailey was having too much fun.

In the distance she saw the rest of the unit with a part of the firefighters. Adam screamed imitating uncoordinated movements followed by Hermann dancing on a table. It had been a beautiful day, so full of laughter and happiness that it was difficult to associate with what they saw every day at work. And now that the day was ending, she realized she didn't really want to go home, go to sleep and wake up tomorrow as if nothing had changed. And it was then that an idea came to her, she would not yet let the day end.

She slipped to the group of boys, to the point where Jay was laughing, taking off his jacket.

"Jay, hey!", grabbed his arm making him turn to her, "Let's go away."

He stared at her in confusion, then looked around, "Go away?"

"Yeah, I want to go somewhere else!"

"Do you want to go away?", he continued to stare at her with raised eyebrows.

"You suddenly become stupid or are you doing it on purpose?"

He pursed his lips tightly enough, "No, Detective. Usually I have no problem keeping up with your thoughts but now you just seem crazy!"

She snorted impatiently before looking around.

"You don't look drunk, so I don't know…are you really asking me to sneak away from a wedding party?"

His light tone and dazzling smile left her stunned for a moment. He was making fun of her, he wanted to provoke her.

"Shut up…", she muttered throwing his jacket and walking towards Joe and Chloe.

Greeting the couple and leaving the rest of the group without being noticed was simpler than she imagined. In the end Jay didn't ask her any more questions, he kept her game even though he still had no idea what she had in mind.

It was only when they got into the car that Hailey decided it was time to tell him what was on his mind.

"I don't want to go home and I know this beautiful beach near Jackson Park…"

"Are you asking having alone time with me in the dark?"

"I won't have sex with you!"

"Hey, I'm offended! You are the one who asked me to sneak out!"

"I didn't ask you to… Ah, stop it!", she snapped realizing how he laughed looking at the road.

She undid her heels, sighing in relief at the sensation of his bare feet and it was then she noticed the bottle of wine next to his feet.

"You took away some wine!"

Only at this point did he seem embarrassed.

"Yeah, well, I imagined going away from the party meant doing our thing, I saw a bottle still closed, so…"

Why wasn't she afraid that a person could get to know her so well? It was something that until a few years earlier would have terrified her. But in the end, she knew him just as well. It was simply what it had to be.

The journey to the beach lasted about half an hour, but after parking, with her heels in one hand and the dress gathered in the other, they made their way on the sand.

It was dark and silent and, just as it had happened a few hours earlier, it seemed to her that she was living in another world.

The noises of the city had vanished into thin air and there, at that moment, only she and Jay existed and the sound of the waves of the lake on the beach. She shivered in his jacket tightening it around her body. She had forgotten her shawl in Kevin's car and although it was spring, it was still cold at night.

"You know, in Afghanistan…this silence, this peace…you felt them every night. If you looked up, you could see the constellations. Here in the city it is unthinkable…"

The lapping of the waves was interrupted by Jay's voice. She turned on her side on the sheet they had recovered from the car, staring at him. He was lying on his back and his gaze was lost in the dark sky. He did not seem completely lost, as he did other times if he thought about the war. It was just…far away.

"I remember whole nights that Mouse and I spent outside our camp, looking at the sky. You didn't know him but…he's a good guy. You would have liked him, you know?"

She had heard of him. From Kevin and Adam, never from Jay. But she knew they were very close and that Jay hadn't taken his decision to go back to war very well.

"Then I remember nights where the stars could not be seen…the bombardments illuminated everything day and…the noise was deafening. The screams of pain, of despair…I kept hearing them for days and days…"

His tone became more serious and his gaze more absent. Hailey reached out and touched his shoulder, to understand how far he was from her, how deep his mind had dragged him.

But, surprisingly, he immediately recognized her touch and saw him make a small smile in the dark.

"I'm not going anywhere. Sometimes it's just easier to talk about these things, you know?"

"Yeah, the waves, the dark…"

"You."

He whispered with such simplicity that it made her look up at him. She knew she was blushing but probably because of the dark he wouldn't have noticed.

"Me?"

"Come on, Hails. You know I hate talking about my shit and even going to therapy was difficult for me. But you know that you are also the only person I would really talk to if I could."

They remained silent for a few minutes. She could feel his light breath beside her as she stared into the star-studded sky.

"It will be late, we should go home."

Despite his words, he didn't move. Hailey sat down and, in silence, untied her hair from the hairstyle she had made for the wedding. She didn't want to go home yet, she wanted to stay in this world made only of Jay.

"Would you like to…tell me about the constellations you saw?"

The question slipped from her lips with simplicity. Only after listening to herself did he realize that perhaps he didn't want to remember. But then she saw him stretch his arm and nodded in the dark.

She rolled over to him resting her head on his shoulder and looking up at the sky.

"Do you know something about the constellations?"

"Uhm, actually no."

He chuckled at her, their hips touching and his arm ended up surrounding her.

"Okay, then, do you see those three stars there?", he stretched out his other arm pointing to a spot in the sky.

And she was in this world made only of Jay.

* * *

**Hi guys;**

**You've passed the hundred reviews and they are all wonderful!**

**I don't know how to thank you, you are all so special!**

**I love you, see you soon!**

**H.**


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